Sex After Heart Surgery

[NC-Cutie]

I am frightened of being intimate now that I have had a Mitral Valve Replacement. I think that because I can hear my valve ticking and any excitement causes it to tick faster, It frightens me. I am 44 years old and in the prime of my life. I don't know what to do about this fear. I am only 5 and a half weeks post op, but I know already that this fear is going to cause problems. I feel the need to protect my new valve from excitement. I don't know what I think will happen, but I'm just not willing to take the chance.

Can some of you share your experiences with me on this.

[medtronic of borg]

Two weeks after my surgery I was in the heat of the moment. Sex in reality is one of the BEST things a heart patient can do. Although it seems to be a heck of a work out...it really is considered on the minor side. So go for it!!!! The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

Med

PS Granted we took it easy the first couple of times.

[SJJ]

Indulge and enjoy!
Sue

[Johnny Stephens]

Another common area of concern for a lot of people, including yours truly. If you have a patient partner, just take it slow, and don't feel like you have to set any records or impress anyone the first few times out. It's part of your overall health in life, and unless the docs have given you some reason to not indulge, don't be afraid. Just take it at your own pace.

From your heart's perspective, this is just exercise. Your heart needs exercise, and the exact activity means nothing to your valves.

[Ross]

Nessie I told you to go for it in your first post. Really. You are not a fragile egg that would break apart. Take that valve for a test spin. Put it through some serious testing. I'm sure you'll find there is nothing to be afraid of. Enjoy your new life! ;)

[Rich]

We had a little fun about two weeks after surgery.
Heck I was in such lousy shape prior to surgery there was no way we would even consider such a thing.
Like the rest said the heart needs some exercise so go for it.
I'm almost eight years post-op and nearing 66 yrs old but were not quiting anytime soon.
So enjoy the new lease on life that you have.

[Nancy]

Have you considered cardiac rehab to get you over this fear of revving your heart up? It has done wonders for so many people. They start you out very gradually and monitor you all the way in a medical setting. Might be a way to go.

[NC-Cutie]

Thanks guys. Although I hear all of this, I am still afraid. The good thing about my life is that my man is 5 hours away. We have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years now and we have traveled back and forth twice a month and sometimes more. He was with me during surgery and a week after. I have encouraged him to not come down since because I know that I'm afraid of what might happen. Lucky for me, he is very patient and understanding and wants me to take my time to heal. I'm just not sure that I will ever feel comfortable having sex. I love sex. I was getting tired easy before surgery but we still had a very good sex life. Now, I'm not sure if I can be the "Bad Girl" I use to be in the bedroom.

[Nancy]

Don't make any rash judgements about your future life based on how you feel right now. Many have felt much the same as you have and as things improve gradually, they start to realize that they are not going to fall apart.

For Heaven's sake, if anyone was going to fall apart it would have been my husband. He's had 3 valve surgeries, 2 lung surgeries, has a pacemaker, has CHF, has pulmonary hypertension, diminished lung capacity, had a massive bleedout after gallbladder surgery that almost put him six feet under, had the most terrible case of serum sickness that anyone had seen in 17 years. He almost died from that as well, I was told not to go home.

Last year at about this time, he was in such terrible shape from severe pulmonary hypertension and kidney failure and Stage 4 CHF, and severe anemia, that he was slipping into a coma. He spent a couple of weeks in the Heart transplant Unit of the teaching hospital here, and another couple of weeks in the critical cardiac unit.

He's still here and improving every day. He can walk over a mile on the treadmill and do light weights as well. He's 72.

And Joe's not the only one on this board who's been through many meat grinders. All kinds of stuff! We even have a member with 5 valves, one manufactured one outside her heart. I hope she tells her story, it's very interesting.

So---your body is much stronger than you could ever imagine. Don't give up hope. You REALLY, REALLY will get better, I promise!

Don't think of taking big steps right now, just take little baby steps and they will build on each other.

[NC-Cutie]

Reading all of the things that has gone on with Nancy's husband makes me feel more Blessed than I already felt. I am not complaining about anything, just concerned. I know how blessed I am and I know that each day will get better. I am going to start Cardiac Rehab after I see my new Cardiologist next week. The surgeon thinks it will help my fears. I acknowledge the fact that it could be worse and I am one of the lucky ones. I know I need to take it one step at a time but I am so use to bouncing right back. I have had surgeries before and recovered a lot sooner than expected, so I guess I just wanted it to happen this time too. And it isn't. One day at a time is what I need to take, but I am so ready to get back into the swing of things.

[Ross]

Sex is like riding a bike, you never forget and animal instinct takes over. Pitch the fear out the window and have some fun!

[Granbonny]

Where do you live in N.C....A big state..and I'm only an hour away from Franklin, N.C....the Mountains. My grandson's mother lives in Thomasville..High Point area......Cuddling is just as much fun as sex....:p :p :p :p And if your man cannot understand..ditch him:p :p :p :p :p If he really loves you..he can wait.:p :p :p :p until..you feel normal again....and you will.:D Bonnie

[Nancy]

Hi NC-Cutie-

I didn't tell you all those things to say that things could be worse, I mentioned them because I want you to realize that the human body is designed to take a terrible beating and it can heal. We're almost as good as those Star Trek guys who could heal themselves, just a little slower.

The other thing you've got to remember is to Never give in and Never give up. Keep plugging away. Always be trying to improve just a little on what you did yesterday. Think of all the members here who've traveled your road. They're doing well, and so will you.

You mentioned that your man was away from you at this time, but I'm hoping you have someone who is helping you through all of this. Your're not alone are you?

[Rush20]

I recommend some candles, maybe some wine and a some soft jazz playing on the bedroom stereo. Let nature take over from there...:)

Seriously, I also was concerned the first few times I tried out my new aortic valve. Just hearing it during the "event" made me nervous. However, my wife was there (obviously :cool: ) and she made sure I was comfortable and relaxed. Now that I have passed the 6-month mark, things are back to normal. Just give it time.

[NC-Cutie]

I am not alone. I have a 24 year old daughter, a 26 year old son, 6 sisters, 4 brothers and many nieces and nephews. I also have church members and friends. I am just the type of person who will block everyone out when I'm going through things. I feel I have to deal with everything along. My man, although 5 hours away is very caring and loving. We talk five or six times a day and he keeps me going. I have a great support system, but I have not shared my fears with many of them.

[medtronic of borg]

can I be blunt for a moment....your not listening!

Or.....has there been an abortation in your sex life before your heart condition acted up?

Med

[NC-Cutie]

I had a normal sex life prior to surgery. In fact, I had a great sex life. It's just that now, I feel that if I get excited something will happen. I don't know what I think will happen, but I am afraid. It's almost to the point of not even wanting to be touched at all. I am a very physical person. Or at least I was. But now, I feel the need to keep emotions and excitement at a minimal. I can't explain it. Maybe I do need help.

[Karlynn]

Just wondering if any of your hesitancy and/or fear may have to do with post OHS depression? That certainly would not be unheard of.

[NC-Cutie]

Yes, I do think I am dealing with some Post op depression. I think it has a lot to do with all of the fears I have. My doctor wants to put me on an anti-depressant but I don't really want to take anything. I want to try and conquer these fears on my own.

[ALCapshaw2]

Hey Cutie,

I second Nancy's recommendation for Cardiac Rehab.

There, you will be tested and monitored by Cardiac Nurses as you GRADUALLY increase your exercise level. By the time you 'graduate' you should be ready for 'anything' :D

You will need a prescription for Rehab from either your Cardiologist or your Surgeon. Hopefully your insurance will cover it. If not, then at least attend some sessions, watch what they do, and ask questions of the nurses. They should have some handouts of recommended stretches and exercises that you could do at home with someone watching 'just in case'. A Heart Rate Monitor and Blood Pressure Tester would be good investments even if you go get approval for Rehab.

In a few more weeks, you should feel even more energetic and hopefully more confident in your new heart and valve.

'AL'

[knightfan2691]

*raises eyebrow*

*blushes a bit*

*scrambles to grab piece of paper*

*hurriedly jots down notes*

Heh...after all, I gotta remember all this when I finally find a gf ;). He he he......

*pauses*

Yes, as some of ya'll may remember, I _did_ have 1 gf a couple years ago, but we never, uh, well, you know...lol.

*blushes again*

Cort, "Mr Road Trip"/"The Uniter", 30swm w/pig valve & pacemaker
member & newsletter editor, Faith COB = http://www.faithcob.org
"Mr MC"'s Family...& train & models = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
RIP = '76, Parents' [my] MC ... '88 MC LS ... '00 "mc" LS
Spotting MCs = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
MC's Future = http://www.projectmonte.com/petition/

[Ross]

Cort you devil you! I'm still praying for that right someone to come stumbling at your feet.

Nessie you need to see someone about these fears. They are controlling you, you are not controling them. I think it would be beneficial for you to get some help in dealing with this.

[labguides]

Our daughter was told that sex would be OK as soon as she could walk 2 flights of stairs.

I agree with others -- nurses at cardiac rehab are great at answering questions and reassuring that everything is progressing normally.

[SJJ]

Nessie,
I agree with Ross. Your doctor has suggested an antidepressant, I mentioned in another thread that Welbutrin is one possible choice which would also have the added advantage of minimizing your desire to smoke (if it's compatible with Coumadin). You could be depressed from nicotine withdrawal alone (some people respond his way) not to mention OHS. Having read several of your posts in other forums as well, at this point, I would also strongly encourage you to find some theraputic support. I merely suggested it before. As a health professional you shouldn't have the misinformed aversion to therapy that some people have and should be aware of what an invaluable tool it can be in helping folks through difficult transitions in their lives. I think your fears are nearing a point where they're beginning to interfere with your recovery process and you are suffering needlessly. If you could have eradicated your anxieties on your own, you would have done so by now, get some help, we want to see you happy and engaged with your life instead of fretting on the sidelines.
Sue

[ShezaGirlie]

I thought how soon you had sex after surgery depended upon if you had a private room or not...:D

Oops, back to the kitchen for me....

[dawnwit15]

As Labguides said in her response to your thread, if you can walk up 2 flights of stairs you can have sex. My doc told me the same thing.
I was so stressed prior to surgery I wasn't really "in the mood" so 3 weeks after surgery was finished and I started feeling better I craved that intimacy. I was also very frightened. Just express your fears to your partner and take it slow the first time. As the others have said, it's the same as exercise. Relax and allow yourself to enjoy it. Nothing bad will happen to you.
dawnwit15

[Rain]

Hey Cutie,

I was afraid to walk very far from my house, right after surgery. I was afraid something would happen to me. As long as I had my car or was at home, I was fine. I did all kinds of things I shouldn’t have then... but for some reason I was afraid of being away from home and I was afraid of getting my heart rate to high. When I told my cardio this... he picked up a pen and started writing a prescription for cardiac-rehab. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I got over the fear of raising my heart rate and it was worth a million having the nurse there to ask questions. Not to mention that it got me hooked on exercising three days a week.

I don’t think you’re as ‘messed up’ as you think you are. When I was five weeks post op, I know I’d have been scared to death to think of all the things I would eventually live through with my mechanical valve. In the four short years I’ve had it..... My oldest son got married only five months after my surgery! Six months later my wonderful Mom died. (I’m the baby of eight). My younger son was diagnosed with Marfan’s and a dilated aorta. Older son graduated from college and moved to CA.

You’ll be amazed. Life will return to normal. Give yourself a little more time to adjust. Another thing I did was write in a journal. I started with the day my cardio told me my heart wouldn’t survive surgery..... and wrote in it for a few months after the surgery. I don’t even know when I stopped writing in it. I’m sure it was about the time I started to feel like a ‘normal’ person again. I haven’t read it since I wrote it... I’m not ready to relive that period of my life. It helped to write it at the time.

But SEX!! Come on, girlfriend.... don’t cheat yourself out of sex!!! :eek: And this is your perfect opportunity to drive that man in your life crazy!! :D You will be in total control of what’s going on.....how fast, how slow, what position.... have fun with it! Torment him! lol Allen had the right idea....soft music, candles, wine and slo mo. Slow, soft, gentle, slow, very slow.... and 'make love'....... not 'have sex'.

Cort, you’re such a doll. There’s one very lucky lady out there waiting for you.

[Harpoon]

I... Aahh... Ummm...

Ahem...


Yeah.


My wife and I were pretty "active" before I started getting sick. We stopped about five months before I had surgery because it was just so hard for me to do just about everything I tried to do...


I think we tried about a week and after I got home from the hospital (10 weeks post-op, but I had a rough time in the hospital) and she was constantly checking on me.


What we discovered pretty quickly, was that I COULD do just about anything I wanted and that it felt good to be able to do it. The clicking is VERY noticable. She can tell I'm getting exciting just by listening now.

You will hear doctors and nurses say that sex is a good cardiovascular workout. it's "low impact" and burns all kinds of calories and there are some pretty obvious emoptional benefits... =)

Go slow at first, go at your own pace and just relax with it. Don't try to do everything at once either, maybe the first "encounter" you guys have is just foreplay. Climb under the sheets and just BE there, cuddle time is important too and it's probably best to go that slowly, to just ease into things.

The rest will fall into place as you feel comfortable.


Frnakly, I think my wife and I are MORE active now, post-op, than we ever were before surgery, even when we first became sexually active....

[knightfan2691]

Ross,

Thank you. But I hope she doesn't stumble. I don't want her hurting herself just for me ;). LOL!


Rain,

Why thank you, my darlin' ;). Maybe I'll meet someone in Denver...? *Dons angel halo*


Janie,

LOL! I didn't have a private room, but that one nurse....aye. I don't think I need to say more ;).

[Karlynn]

I have a funny, if not a tad colorful, story.

Before my valve surgery I was in the CICU to be taken off all my meds and have an EPS done (electrophysiological study - a nasty test that I don't care to repeat). My heart was so fast and irregular coming off the meds. I was miserable. I just lay in the hospital bed wishing it would beat regularly for just a minute or two. My husband comes in and says " Wow, look at your monitor" My rate was pretty high and jumpy. He says "Let's see what this does to your heart!!"...... and he flashes me. My heart rate dropped below 100 (first time since I was taken off the meds) and beat regularly for about 5 minutes. My husband started laughing and said "Well, that's a real blow to my ego! But I think I just cured you."

[Raverlaw]

My hospital discharge instructions said that "sexual relations may be resumed three weeks after surgery." I had my chest cracked, mind you, (no heart port for me) and the sternum is the only concern I have.

There's no way you can "over-excite" your new valve. It's made to take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. At your age, your maximum heart rate far exceeds anything you're going to work up during sex, so go for it.

If you were sexually active before your sugery, you're certainly capable of at least the same level of activity now that you're *fixed* :p

[Gemma]

Jim's hospital told him pretty much the same - do it when you feel ready, for most people it's about 2-4 weeks after going home - umm, guess that's the average ;).
More importantly, sex has been scientifically proven to boost your immune system, fight off colds, and release endorphins which make you happy!!
Give your man a call and get him to come visit!!:D (and if the ticking sound bothers you put on some music, and keep the lights on - dark rooms tend to make you focus more on what you can hear!!)
Gemma.

[hensylee]

uh.....well, er.......um...

Like Cort, I don't recall.........But I will pray for you Cort -

Don't pray for me, tho. I already been there, done that.

Hearts need exercise, too, don't they?

[ShezaGirlie]

I'm still laughing Karlynn!

May I call your husband next time my heartrate gets up?:D



NC-CUTIE -- In all seriousness -- have you considered masturbating? That way, you're in charge and you could build up your confidence slowly whilst knowing you wouldn't be 'disappointing' anyone. And more importantly as you said, "I want to try and conquer these fears on my own."

Fear of the unknown is powerful stuff.

[weekycat]

This is a little embarrassing.. but I felt that in the interest of science, (and perhaps to encourage those in the waiting room;) ), I would tell you of my experience.

I came home from the hospital on my 8th day post-mitral valve repair. I Went to my step-son's graduation the next day.. an anniversary party the next.. and that night...10 days post-op...:o

..believe it or not.. we (gasp) DID "it", (Very carefully and gently). I'm not sure that I would necessarily recommend it that early.. just thought I'd let y'all know that we did.. and I didn't die or anything.

Keep in mind though, that we were newlyweds.... we'd been married for exactly 20 mos. when I had my surgery. :D

[Ross]

Man everyones doing it but me! http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/cry1.gif

[ShezaGirlie]

If you'd give up your new career as a Proctologist you might get some offers...:D **see avatar**

[Ross]

How about this one instead?

http://www.yellow98gti.homestead.com/files/triumph/conan/pimp/pimpbot.jpg

[ShezaGirlie]

Is that your gas mask??:D

[LUVMyBirman]

ROFLMAO!!!!!:D :D :D :D :D Your avatar reminds me of a movie. Now what was it?;)

[Granbonny]

You guys missed out:D This was our conversation for an hour..Funny things were said..and I will not tell the members who were on..Just don't forget next sunday's chat...Will say..Our Billy was on..Love to chat with him across the pond.:D :D In North Ireland. Bonnie

[NC-Cutie]

Ross, everyone is doing it except You and ME. But at least you want to do it

[LUVMyBirman]

Sorry I missed chat:( Tried to get in with no luck. My ISP has a pop up blocker (which is great don't get me wrong!) It appears it may be causing all sorts of issues with my web capabilities. Disabled it and still could not get in. Any suggestions?

[Karlynn]

Gina, did you really need to start talking about Pop-up blockers in a thread about sex? :D

[Hank]

Luckily for me, I never had to worry about it.

My heart doesn't have any problem with my 8 second duration of love. ;) :D

My Motto - You snooze, you looze!

[ShezaGirlie]

Now, now girlfriend Karlynn -- don't get all hot and bothered about our girlfriend Gina getting off the subject and all worried about her 'popups.'

After all, her post is rather ambiguous, don't you think?

She could be referring to her:

Incessantly Sensual Partner...:D

And who in their right might would want to 'disable' that??? Pop-ups or no Pop-ups..hehehe

[Johnny Stephens]

I wouldn't touch this thread with a ten-foot pole.

[knightfan2691]

*pops head sheepishly back into thread*

*clears throat*

Well..... uh..... yeah....

At least ya'll HAVE done it, right? Some of us (no names mentioned, of course) are still, well, ya know.... uhh.... "new" to sex..........

Yes, Hensylee, hearts need exercise, too :).

Aye.

;)

[Ross]

I'm not exactly the poster boy for heightened sexual attraction with this dang O2 cannula stuck in my nose, plus even if the opportunity presents itself, I'll probably die trying (But at least I'll die with a smile on my face and happy!)

[Rain]

Come on now Bonnie.... I thought we kept it pretty clean. Well... ummm..... I am a little embarrassed about the ‘Christmas tree’ part of the conversation! :D

Johnny..... you got a TEN foot pole?!! :eek: :D

[LUVMyBirman]

Down boy:D ::D :D :D :D ;) LOL

[Karlynn]

I'm still looking for a pop-up blocker that will work in my house. Gee, now I even need one for the dog. ;)

Rain, thanks for asking Johnny the obvious question.

[LUVMyBirman]

Those dang "pop ups" can't live with them or without them:D

[Billy]

...to post here.....but good sense prevails so I'll join Johnny on this occasion.............for the time being anyway.

On the other issue, I'll join Ross, Cort and NC-Cutie....maybe go look on e-bay, hahaha

Bet this thread makes 100 too.

Cheers,

[dwfreck]

NC-cutie,

I distinctly remember an old thread talking about the "two flights of stairs test" that was recommended to one of the pre-surgery folks by their cardio. We all chuckled about it at the time, but I'm sure the cadrio was sincere in his/her statement that if you could walk up two flights of stairs, then you could handle sexual activities.

[weekycat]

"Something's Gotta Give", Jack Nicholson's character is told by his doctor after his heart attack, that he can have sex as soon as he is able to climb a flight of stairs.

[Ben Smith]

Pop ups

Pop up blockers

Ten foot poles

Way outa my league.

I'll stay away from this one.

Scares me......................lol

Ben

[Raverlaw]

Billy,

I'm with you on this one.

I thought the "neener" thread would set some records for number of posts and straying off topic, but I think we may have a new contender here.

You guys (and gals!) are funny. I can't even imagine how the conversation goes at a reunion after everyone has had the obligatory (for consistency, of course) alcohol!

[hensylee]

Billy I can just hear you tuggin at the ropes - go for it.........

double dog dare ya!

[Billy]

.........you've talked me into it....well, I'm just reconsidering long enough to reply to Bill's comment on the conversations at reunions.

They usually start off in a rather clinical fashion and by the third Margarita or Bushmills, all the barriers are down and.......well, never mind the talking, lets talk about the action.....Oooops I forgot what Rain said....."What happens in Chicago, stays in Chicago"

Anyway, there's a lotta 'craic' at those reunions....and by now y'all should know what craic is......

Cheers,

[fyrfytr]

You all are the Best!:D
I am at a loss for words.
Take Care

[Ross]

Lighten up people, let loose and have some fun, live a little, knock off all the seriousness, play, enjoy, this is life! :D

[Billy]

...Ross is on the Bushmills again.:D :D :D

[Ben Smith]

Big Fun !!!!!!!!!
Billy?

I can't get involved in any discussion surrounding ten foot poles.

God has blessed me in this fashion.

I did figure out what a pop up blocker is................................................ ........... daughter knocking on bed room door in middle of night.

Ben

[Ross]

Install the Google "Toolbar" to stop and prevent unwanted pop ups. :D http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/cornertime.gif

[fyrfytr]

One night my wife said, if this was a 3 alarm fire you would need more hose.:(

Take Care

[Karlynn]

One of our pop-up blockers is home on Spring Break.:mad: Crying because he wishes he had the money to be with his friends on South Padre Island. Little does he know, we're crying too.

Dave, your wife is cruel. I'd bet I'd really like her!

[bvdr]

I was just thinking that the stairs test is all backwards. Don't you think it makes more sense to be okayed to climb two flights of steps if you can have sex without any problems?

[Birky]

Did you all notice how many responses to this question? I saw 67 which seemed a lot.

[hensylee]

question of the week - are we REALLY finally going to find out what actually happens at those reunions!!?????

[Johnny Stephens]

Johnny..... you got a TEN foot pole?!!

Well, I used to have one but had to get rid of it. The police were getting complaints about me running around touching things with it.

Now, perhaps this is related, why do people keep commenting on my big shoes?

[Rain]

Ann..... you need to come to the reunion in Golden!! They're really not THAT wild... :eek: ...we just kinda ‘let our hair down’. :D Does that translate across the pond, Mr. Billy?? :p

This thread is really gonna make people wonder about the reunion ‘bed’ pictures in my vr.com photo album!! :eek: :p :p

[Rain]

Johnny, never... under any circumcisions ... I mean circumstances.. should you give up your pole!!

Good news!! Come to the reunion in Colorado.... we're famous for our great poles. :p Maybe we can hook you up with a new one! :D

[JAMES W]

I WAS WONDERING...WHY ARE WE PICKING ON THE POLISH? :confused:

[ShezaGirlie]

Rain, you wild and crazy woman -- don't give away any of our secrets. Folks have to come to my 'Hospitality Suite' as the reunion and see for themselves!

Johnny -- what was that you said about 'feet.'

Raverlaw Bill -- ya gotta come and establish a California connection. You'd be the first Californian to attend! Uh, maybe we'd vote for your deck as next year's location...! My niece is graduating from UC Santa Barbara and will join your ranks in a few years..

As a final note -- to quote my good Texan friend, DickV, "The bigger the nose, the bigger the hose." By the way, Dick plays a mean mandolin, so we gotta talk him into bringing it to Golden. Yoohoo, hey Dick! Billy on piano, Dick on his mandolin.....any other musicians out there????

**Rain, quit checking out those avatar noses** Hahahaha!

Oh good one James!!!!!

[knightfan2691]

Janie,

I play the cello :). And, it sounds so soft and low ;). LOL!


*turns to Billy in Ireland*

Uh...

*scratches head*

Ebay?

*raises eyebrow*

I'm not sure I even want to know..............

[Harpoon]

WHOOHOO!!!!



On a related note:

Apparently whenever my wife left my side while I was "sleeping" after surgery (mind you, I was "sleeping" for about 5 weeks straight) my monitors started flying all over the place. BP would plummet or go sky high or rollercoaster, heart rate would do the same along with breathing and I would get generally "aggitated"....


They had to use extra sedation whenever my wife had to leave for the evening and she tried not to leave for meals or potty breaks unless I was in a deep sleep.


None of my other family members seemed to have this affect by the way.

[SJJ]

Now that's a sweet story!
Sue

[xtremlee]

And to think Im just now getting in on this tread where have I been.

NC-Cutie could you even think of a better way to go?

[NC-Cutie]

I can't believe all of the replys I got to this thread. I wonder what the Key word was. SEX, you think?

[Birky]

My Dr. told me to wait at least 5 years before having sex. My husband caught on to that really quick. This topic has given me a lot of laughs. You are fun people,

[NC-Cutie]

Marcia,

You said that as a joke, but right now I am feeling that It will be 5 years or more before I have sex if I ever do. My man keeps saying it will happen, just give myself time, but I don't know how much longer he can wait.

[bethanne]

Leave it to my VR.COM friends to give me a great reason for heart surgery with great things to look forward to! :)

[Ross]

Originally posted by NC-Cutie
Marcia,

You said that as a joke, but right now I am feeling that It will be 5 years or more before I have sex if I ever do. My man keeps saying it will happen, just give myself time, but I don't know how much longer he can wait.

Your being stubborn! Go get some help and deal with these issues before they destroy you. Your fears are completely unfounded. Your letting them rule your life. You need to be the master, not the other way around. ;)

[NC-Cutie]

Ross,
My doctor told me that I am not abnormal. He said that 65% of OHS patients suffer anxiety and fears after surgery.

[Ross]

I'm not saying your abnormal. I'm saying you need to get some help in dealing with these issues. Yes what your going through is normal, how your dealing with them is not.

I'm not being mean, just concerned. ;)

[NC-Cutie]

Thanks Ross. I know you're not being mean. I appreciate the concern. In fact, I'm concerned myself. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to have to go to rehab just because I'm afraid to have sex and afraid to drive when someone is in the car with me. That seems so trival to me. I have always been so strong and able to work through anything that came my way, but this is getting the best of me.

[Ross]

Listen to me. I'm the first person on this earth that doesn't want to seek help for my fears. My last surgery was nearly the end of my life. Believe me, I had issues and they (The Doctors) didn't wait for me to ask for help, they were there giving it to me like it or not. I was mad at the time, but I'll tell you what, if they hadn't done what they did, I would be a real basket case.

Please talk to a psychologist and let them help you sort this out. Your torturing yourself and it doesn't need to be this way. :)

[hensylee]

"You said that as a joke, but right now I am feeling that It will be 5 years or more before I have sex if I ever do. My man keeps saying it will happen, just give myself time, but I don't know how much longer he can wait."

Isn't it a blue pill that guys have? Well, there are some for the fairer sex (no pun meant) too. I see it advertised on TV all the time. Why not look it up on the net. Can't hurt to read about it - and you might want to take the plunge then...................

uh oh

[knightfan2691]

*sighs*

Man oh man oh man.

Am I the only one in here who hasn't....?

*blushes*

Oh, well....it'll happen some day, right?

Aye.

Luckily for me, this topic doesn't bother me as much as it did a couple years ago. My 1st (and so far only) gf had told me that we'd "experiment" when the time was right. Well, after she dumped me, she told me she just never found the "right" time.

Uh huh. And Chevrolet made the Monte Carlo after 1988.

*shakes head*

But, now, reading some of your more serious posts on this matter, I wonder if the "time was never right" because she was afraid of what might happen to me? I never really ever considered that as a possibility, but that very well could be...as opposed to her not wanting me that way at all.

Hmmm...

*sighs*

Ah, too be young again and experience life a bit more "normally"....LOL! ;)

[Harpoon]

NC-cutie,

Maybe it's time you asked your cardiologist about a referal to a psychiatrist, or at least asked for HIS (or HER) opinion on the matter.


Get up from the computer right now and go climb a flight of stairs and come back, go ahead, do it RIGHT NOW.




How do you feel?

Winded? Relaxed? Out of breath? Fine?


If you don't feel like you're going to pass out or like you just finished a marathon, your body (AND YOUR HEART) can tolerate sexual intercourse.

That's it.

Everything else is a head game.

You went through hell and back. All of the people here with artificial valves did that. You were scared, so was I, you fought for your life, so did I.

I got better, and you did too. If not, you wouldn't be here talking about having sex, you'd be talking about fighting to live, about heart failure or breathing difficulties or all other kinds of bad things that can happen when a valve replacement DOESN'T solve the problem.


The hard part is over with. You "climbed the mountain" as a lot of people here call it, you successed, you won!!!

Enjoy your new life.

Talk to a doctor if you need to though I think they'll say the same thing.

[Mark Wagner]

I'm married. What's sex????????????????? :D

[Karlynn]

I'm married. What's sex?????????????????


Well, when this topic started, I looked it up in the dictionary. Read the explanation to my husband, and we both agreed we kind of remember something like it years ago.;)


NC - We've all had a lot of fun with this topic and I think that is the point. You have a newly revamped heart that is going to allow you to have fun with your life. What a waist all our surgeries would be if we didn't embrace life (inspite of our fears, because we all had/have them) and live it with joy.

There are many on this site that have sought out help from doctors (or had it presented to them) to get us over the hump of depression after surgery. It's just good, sound, responsible medical care. Some things we are just not able to get over on our own. If you drive your car w/out oil in it, you'll burn out your engine. You need to get some oil!

[ShezaGirlie]

NC-CUTIE -- Congratulations -- you have succeeded in getting many VR.COM members to share some of their most private and intimate sexual moments with their partners for all the world to see. This was done in good faith by my fellow members to try to help you with your 'fear' of having sex. So far, you've refused every bit of advice shown you.

Was it a 'bait' when you referred to yourself as a 'Bad Girl' in the bedroom? I think so...:mad:

We don't even know for sure that you are of the female persuasion. We don't know that this isn't a MAN/MAN or a GIRL/GIRL situation. If it is, fine!

We don't even know that you're not a twisted pervert out there getting your jollies from reading about other people's sex lives.

My original suggestion to you remains.....go masterbate and have that BIG O (as Ben suggested) or that BIG C...whatever!

Then come back and let us know you lived....

[dwfreck]

NC-Cutie,

With respect to whether or not your man can wait, there's a lot of "sexual activties" the two of you can engage in that aren't particularly strenuous, and which may satisfy his and your needs. Of course, I'm sure you'll worry about whether or not the less-strenuous activities will lead to something more strenuous (I'm a worrier too, sometimes, and I've been where you are now)...

For a few years now, I've been living with the classic symptoms of a bad aortic valve: shortness of breath and/or chest pain during certain kinds of physical exertion. The level of exertion has gradually gotten lower and lower over the years, yet I've continued to have sex as often as I can, within the usual limits of married and family life. There have been only three times when I have over-exerted myself during sex; each time I was VERY uncomfortable, but I rested and recovered. My heart and body gave me clear and unambiguous warning signs that I was pushing myself too far; I've learned to identify the warning signs much earlier in the game so I don't get as close to overexertion. Your body will give you the same warning signs. You're probably already familiar with them since you're in the process of recovery.

It sounds like your man is a sensitive and caring person who understands your situation and your concerns. I'm sure the two of you can talk about it, and arrange, in advance, to put on the brakes if you start to feel physically uncomfortable. For that matter, I wouldn't be surprised if you and your man already have an unspoken agreement to stop if either one of you has any kind of physical discomfort during sex, whether related to your hearts or some other parts of your bodies.

Finally, I'll launch into my standar lecture on the proper use of medical professionals: Don't be afraid to talk to your doctors about your concerns and fears, whether you think they're rational or irrational, trivial or non-trivial, personal or impersonal. You're paying your doctors a small fortune for their services; make sure you get your money's worth. Your doctors can only help what they've been told about. In my experience, most doctors appreciate a full and candid explanation of what their patients are feeling, and they're never shocked by what they hear.

[LoriSue]

I know one thing for sure now! I will definitely be looking forward to being fixed and being able to enjoy a real life again! Sex is another one of those things that has been put on the back burner because of how crappy I have felt. I just haven't felt like "doing" it. I am more worried about doing it now than doing it after the surgery. If I pass out just from feeding my horses I can't imagine what would happen in the "heat of the moment". LOL
I had never even considered it until now. I now have another reason to look forward to having a new valve!
I agree with the others NC-Cutie: get a therapist to help you overcome the post op depression, cardio rehab is important to consider for more than just emotional reasons, and take a test run flying solo (if you know what I mean) For cripe's sakes...if you are the only one in the room it is completely within your control and you can stop if you feel you need to, get the idea?
Certainly listen to the advice of those who have been there before you....this is value information you can't get anywhere else and can make all the difference in the world to your recovery. It is a new lease on life for you....take advantage of it and be happy that you have a future of health and happiness to look forward to.
I don't know.....it is just my opinion...take it for what it is worth.
Lori

[Mark Wagner]

I'll tell you with all seriousness, the only thing that bothered me with sex after valve surgery was the clicking. You get excited and the valve of course clicks faster. My wife would laugh, because I had to stop the first couple of times, because I felt so embarassed! :D That's okay, because a month or so later, I never even noticed it anymore.
The only problem is now, when I look at some good looking lady out shopping, Charyl hears that thing start to click faster, and I get slapped. I'm tired of walking around with two black eyes!!! :mad:


Mark

[Ross]

Yeah well you may walk around with two black eyes, but do you have any idea what I look like Blue from when the wifi kinks my O2 line and threatens my very existence? :D

[hensylee]

Janie - what the heck is a BIG O and a BIG C? Do they only have those in Texas?

[Raverlaw]

WHOA!

Janie, better answer Hensylee with PM. ;)

[Birky]

I think I missed something. Please answer her.

[ShezaGirlie]

This fish have big mouth, but swim by most bait....:D

[Billy]

....speaking of big fish, with big mouths, did y'all hear about the Whale who bit the end off of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.....

well, that's not a big O or a big C, but it's kinda close in a way......

[Karlynn]

:eek:

[hensylee]

oh......OH..........OH!!!!!!......OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!. ........:rolleyes: :eek:

[Rush20]

Hmmm....this post was viewed over 1500 times (and counting). It's clear where our priorities in life lie....;)

[Raverlaw]

Things are definitely degenerating here...

I think I should be offended that this thread has soundly beaten my "neener, neener" thread just because it has "Sex" in the title. Probably my neener thread wouldn't have done so well, but some of you thought "neener" had something to do with sex, right? :p

So in the spirit of one-upsmanship, I'm seriously considering starting a thread called "Sex During Heart Surgery" - let's see what kind of stories we get on that one! :eek:

[Harpoon]

Perhaps we should discuss the finer points of sexual activity as cardiac rehabilitation???




You know, I could go all over the place with this one but I won't because it's late and my wife's in bed and.....





I'm tired, get yer minds out of the gutter! =Þ

[Billy]

Now, now Mr Harpoon, I was keeping to the subject of the thread. My post referred to the big 'O' - i.e. the Ocean and to some activities which were well below 'C' level.

The strange thing is that Ms. NC-Cutie seems to have disappeared. Maybe the original fears expressed have been overcum.....

.....and Ann had a lot of big 'O's in her post, didn't she?:D :D :D

[SJJ]

I think Ann must have coached Meg Ryan for the famous "O" in "When Harry Met Sally."

[ar bee]

very odd for me to use this as a benchmark - our bedroom is on the first floor, hence if i ever make out of surgery to our home i HAVE to climb those stairs ;-)))))

enjoy
ar bee

[hensylee]

I'll have what she's having.............

[Ross]

My but is this thread therapeutic. Perhaps not for the thread starter, but it's working wonders for everyone else. http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/rotfl.gif

[Rain]

Does anyone know what/who Quetlin's av represents?? :D

[Billy]

..I have no idea....It looks like an ancient cave-wall decoration that has come to life....maybe Quetlin will drop by and explain it to us.

With all this talk of big C's and big O's, is there any relevance in the fact that the abbreviation for Colorado is a big CO...maybe Rain can help with that one....'Sunday Chat' should be interesting this week, bet we have a big attendance...;) ;)

[Rain]

Hey Billy......

I know what he represents. "Fertility" :)

He was the Fertility god to the Anasazi. The Anasazi lived at Mesa Verde right behind my house. I have all kinds of art work of him. I think he's pretty darn cool! :D

Kokopelli is said to have travelled around villages bringing the changing of seasons - ending the harsh winter weather, creating milder temperatures and much-needed rain for successful harvests. The hunch on his back is thought to be due to the sack of seeds and songs he carried with him, his flute symbolises the transition from winter to spring, and the macaw feathers adorning his headdress are said to represent the spirit world. He's also known for his powers of fertility. Legends claim that all the villagers would sing and dance when Kokopelli arrived, and soon after every woman would be with child. :eek: :D

[Karlynn]

Uh oh, better stop playing my Native American flutes!

[Rain]

......now you be nice!! :p

[Harpoon]

NC-CUTIE -- Congratulations -- you have succeeded in getting many VR.COM members to share some of their most private and intimate sexual moments with their partners for all the world to see. This was done in good faith by my fellow members to try to help you with your 'fear' of having sex. So far, you've refused every bit of advice shown you.

Was it a 'bait' when you referred to yourself as a 'Bad Girl' in the bedroom? I think so...:mad:

We don't even know for sure that you are of the female persuasion. We don't know that this isn't a MAN/MAN or a GIRL/GIRL situation. If it is, fine!

We don't even know that you're not a twisted pervert out there getting your jollies from reading about other people's sex lives.



Hmmmm..... And so then I started thinkin', "have we been had???"



Been quite a while since I've come across a "gamer" on-line.


We used another, more vulgar and less polite, term elsewhere....

I did the chat thing for a long time, still drop in on occassion to check on some real friends that I've made there, though usually our conversations now happen via email or in person.

I didn't really expect to see someone trying to misrepresent themselves in a forum such as this, but I guess it could happen.

Hopefully it was just one little "bad apple" and won't happen again any tim soon.

[hensylee]

I finally found out what the Big C and the Big O are - and they have NOTHING to do with vegetables or fruit! :D :p

[George DiMundo]

...and I thought ICU stood for Intercourse Conditioning Unit. That explains some of the beeping from the monitors.

[Karlynn]

...and I thought ICU stood for Intercourse Conditioning Unit. That explains some of the beeping from the monitors.

Are you related to my husband, or is it just all men????? :rolleyes:

[Ross]

Are you related to my husband, or is it just all men????? :rolleyes:
Why are you always picking on me? :confused: :D

[Karlynn]

Why are you always picking on me? :confused: :D

Because I can???? :o

[Nancy]

I didn't really expect to see someone trying to misrepresent themselves in a forum such as this, but I guess it could happen.

Hopefully it was just one little "bad apple" and won't happen again any tim soon.

Harpoon--

If that's what this was, unfortunately, this isn't the first time that this kind of thing has happened.

It did make for an entertaining thread though. ;)

[Debrinha GT]

I was so desperate to get pregnant even before m operation, that as soon as I was given the OK by y doctor, me and my husband started trying for our little girl which was the reason why I didn't go for the mechanical valve at the time. If your doctor has told you to lead a normal sex life, take his word for it, however, if despite all your effords to overcome your fear you simply can't do it, I would advise you to try professional help for insisting on something that makes you insecure, might end up in disaster. Good luck!

[Bunny_Rabbit]

Alright, I think I know what the "big O" is, but I have no idea what the "big C" is! :D

[Harpoon]

Nancy>>I guess I just didn't really expect it in a place like this.

Live and learn.


It's pretty interesting though and I guess that's the positive side to it. Maybe the original intent backfired? =)


I'm staying away from the Big O and C bit, if only so as not to display my ignorance... :D

[cinda575]

:p


Go for it!!!!

If you are nervous then try a little "self satisfaction" *winks* and when your heart starts racing you can continue or stop...that goes for the guys too...LOL..If you have a mech valve you can hear it speed up .. :rolleyes:

OMG did I just write that? yes i am a sick pup...LOL

[hensylee]

Alright, I think I know what the "big O" is, but I have no idea what the "big C" is! :D


Every day in every way ---------

this thread gets better and better.......

As to explanation of the o and c, I had to ask - got fruit and vegetable answer first - then the real answer. I think. ;) :rolleyes: :p

[Marc Gunderson]

I wanted sex the day after surgery. Looking at all the lovely female nurses in hospital made my heart beat faster. I am still waiting and my heart beats just fine. :)

[NC-Cutie]

Thanks for the ongoing replies to this thread. I am amazed that it is still going on.

[Ross]

Thanks for the ongoing replies to this thread. I am amazed that it is still going on.
You've been gone all this time and that's all you have to say? :confused:

[hensylee]

You've been gone all this time and that's all you have to say? :confused:
Ross - we can't ask. When she's ready, she will tell us - or not........... ;)

[xtremlee]

I cant comment on sex after surgery Yet. But it pretty good a few days before. :D MAybe thats more than you wanted to know.

[Abbanabba]

Boy!! How did I miss this thread for so long?!!!! :eek:

It certainly has been ..........enlightening :)

A : )

[Billy]

Anna....you've just proved to all of us that you're a girl...the 'boys' all saw it right away :D

[Abbanabba]

Anna....you've just proved to all of us that you're a girl...the 'boys' all saw it right away

Oh you guys..... you're all the same!! :D :D

A : )

[Billy]

....and I bet those guys all love to come 'shear' your sheep..... :D :D :D

[hensylee]

....and I bet those guys all love to come 'shear' your sheep..... :D :D :D

Reminds me of a joke, Billy -

a punk rock girl goes into ER. Her hair is purple, orange, pink, she has earrings everywhere, make-up is garish. Turns out she needs surgery. She undresses and lo and behold her hair just down there is dyed GREEN and just above it is a tattoo that says "keep off the grass". When she wakes up there is another sign from the surgeon that says "sorry, but we had to mow the grass".

[bvdr]

Hennyslee,

I love the joke. It might even be one I can manage to remember.

[Harpoon]

Uhhh.... WHERE was that sign?

Hope the doc didn't tattoo it in after he was done mowing!!!



Ok, that might have been in bad taste, but this thread was going down hill from the beginning.... :D

[Karlynn]

Hensylee,
You are a wild woman! :eek:

[Gnusgal]

Aparently I stayed away for WAY too long. This thread is almost at 150 posts, and I just recently saw it. I have to ask everyone, did any of you get the cartoon book about sex after heart surgery that my hospital gave me? It's too funny. Little caroon (anatomic) hearts getting romantic. My mother cracked up when she saw it. I still have it around here somewhere... If I had a scanner... Maybe I can take some pics and let you see for yourselves... I'll have to look for it later. Right now I think maybe it's time to find DH and get this valve to tickin'. :eek:

[Ross]

Apparently you have! You need to keep checking these people or well you just never know what will pop up next.

http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/sexe.gif

[Billy]

Maybe like Anna, Niki just proved that she's a girl too. The 'boys' all saw it right from the start....Right Rossman?

Cheers,

[Gnusgal]

Hey! I saw it as soon as I got back. I just hadn't visited the site in awhile (LOTS going on right now). So now what does that make me. ;)

[Ross]

A Pervert like the rest of us. :D

[Karlynn]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been following this thread closely for the scientific enrichment the information provides. :cool:

[Ross]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been following this thread closely for the scientific enrichment the information provides. :cool:
Oh so your telling me that your a Scientific pervert, not just a normal run of the mill one? :D

[Ben Smith]

Pervert... never.....not me
I'm just a normal 31 year old man that will read anything that starts off with SEX.

You never know what will come up.

[Billy]

...and I'm just waiting for Ross to post that he's doing 'it.'

He said earlier that he wasn't doing it, but I suppose it all depends on what the meaning if 'it' is.

[Ross]

http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/why.jpg

[Marc Gunderson]

Well i feel that Sex after Surgery can be done alone or with someone.
I would rather do it with someone than alone.
I think they overdosed me on sex hormones at the hospital as all I think about is Sex.
Maybe the new Valve and Aorta is sending too much blood to the Brain and other parts
Pity the wife doesnt think like me :)

[hensylee]

***FLASH***

Hensylee has a date - !?!

Is this thread inspiring or what?

[Mark Wagner]

Okay Ann. I just notified CNN. The whole world will know now! :D

[Les]

Alright, Ann!

[SJJ]

Spring is in the air.........have fun Ann!
Sue

[Ross]

Spring is in the air huh?

http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Noah.jpg

[bvdr]

Anyone we know, Ann? Have a wonderful time............you certainly deserve it!

[Nancy]

Ann-

Now there's a lucky guy! Have fun!

[fyrfytr]

Way to go Ann! Have a Great Time.

Take Care

[ShezaGirlie]

Details girlfriend....we want details.. :D

Have a wonderful time....! You deserve the best.. ;)

[Billy]

Here's hoping you can pass on some good practical advice to NC-Cutie in the near future....... ;) ;) ;)

[Mary]

You're bad, Billy!
Mary

[Billy]

It's been almost SIX days since you went on that date....who is he, Superman?

Aren't you gonna share some of the spicy bits with the rest of us.....??? ;) ;)

W a i t i n g i n a n t i c i p a t i o n.................Cheers,

[Granbonny]

Leave ann alone :D After all, it's been awhile..Darn, John was in Exam room with me today on my 2 year checkup and heard my Cardio say, You look great. Everything is great. :D :D I had told John, it would take a full 2 years to get back into the Sex thing. :D So, I guess, tonight's the night. :p :p And I don't even have a headache. :D Bonnie

[ShezaGirlie]

So there is hope for us gals in our '60's.... :D

[Granbonny]

Don't know about me and you, Janie. :D Still waiting to hear from Ann. Nightgown :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: on..candles lit..and guess where Hubby's at. In basement working on his projects. :p Hate to tell him..but my bedtime is 9 P.M. sharp :p :p :p .. Bonnie..

[tobagotwo]

Guess She's not going to get back to us. Must still be busy...

My wife and I waited almost a week, at my wife's insistance. Guess she needed the break.

More likely, she had horrible visions of me splitting open along the "zipper," and various organs sliding out all over the bed. Decidedly not a turn-on. Your loved ones are frequently more concerned about damaging you than you are.

Imagine if you were to become injured. Someone would surely say to your spouse: "You were doing WHAT?!! What kind of an animal ARE you?!! What were you THINKING?!!"

However, as I was being released on day three, I absolutely recall the nurse saying, as part of her litany, "...You may resume sexual relations..."

Obviously, anything involving push-up-type motions is out for a while. Or, for me, lying on my left side. That is hardly an obstacle. Love is grand, this side of the knife.

[John & Joann]

THIS IS THE FIRST LINK THAT I AM GOING TO PRINT ALL FOR JOANN TO READ!

IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION!

John for Joann to read!

[tommy]

Ross,

Do you have any statistics for the most replies and viewings by a thread?

[Ross]

Newest member to the forums [Seattle]
Record online users 55 (07-04-2003 11:07 AM)
Top poster [Ross - 5123]
Most replied to thread [Sex After Heart Surgery]
Most viewed thread [Making the choice: RP, homograft, mechanical, tissue]
Most popular forum [Small Talk]

[Granbonny]

Let's show these young valvers. that Sex over age 60..is the BEST. No worry about getting knocked up.. :D :D :D Like Pg..and we can sleep in late. :p :p Or do it at Noon. Retirement is the best...Hope our moderator will not bleep my post. :D :D :D :D Bonnie

[tommy]

Ross,

Man, you are quick!

I guess those statistics could be expected.
People want to know what valve to put in....
When they can have sex....
Rossman is the bossman...
Small talk is popular.

The universe is in order.
Thanks, Ross.

[Johnny Stephens]

"Hope our moderator will not bleep my post"

I thought getting your post bleeped was the whole idea. :o

[Glenda]

I haven't posted to this tread yet. I've just enjoyed reading everyone else's reply, but I just couldn't pass this up. A friend just sent this to me.

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Then why are you crying?"
She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."
I said, "Well, why are you crying?"
She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite desert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.
I said,"Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live!" LOL :D :D :D

[Ross]

Glenda you little devil you. I know your holding back on us. That's alright, there are others doing the samething, but I know whats going on behind the scenes here and you all aren't as angelic as you think. Me neither. http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/FIREdevil.gif

[Glenda]

Well I guess the cat is out of the bag. Who says just because there is snow on the rooftop that there's still not a fire in the furnace! ! :D :D :D

Remember, I've been married for 43 wonderful years. HAPPILY :) :) :) :)

[Granbonny]

3,356 Viewing ..but that was 5 minutes ago. :p 178 replies..but that was 5 minutes ago. :p Ran thru all the replies hoping for a larger Male Valver post..but..Hey, Girlfriends, we are running Even, Steven :D with them.. :D :D Was going to kid them about more Male Valvers posting. :D Looks like, I know where we stand, too. :D :D :D Of course, I know we are all bragging. Where are our better-halves. Let them post. :D Bonnie

[knightfan2691]

That's alright, there are others doing the samething, but I know whats going on behind the scenes here and you all aren't as angelic as you think.

Speak for yeself. I _am_ angelic ;).

Remember, I have yet to experience some of which you all speak.........

*sighs*

One of these days.....

Cort, "Mr Road Trip"/"The Uniter", 30swm w/pig valve & pacemaker
member & newsletter editor, Faith COB = http://www.faithcob.org
"Mr MC"'s Family...& train & models = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
K's BL = http://forums.demonsoftware.com/index.php?showforum=15
Spotting MCs = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
MC's Future = http://www.projectmonte.com/petition/

[Karlynn]

It seems that we've forgotten one huge part of sex after surgery. Just about every man still breathing will claim that it is "the cure" to anything that ails you.

I cannot say anything about feeling under the weather or my husband will just reply "I've got a cure for that." I finally told him that The Cure failed, because I still had to have my valve replaced. He claims it wasn't administered in a routine fashion. Blah, blah, blah.

[hensylee]

WOW

Back to ya soon.................

[LoriSue]

GLENDA!!
THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!!
LoriSue

[Granbonny]

What was that posting LATE last night :D :D You said, WOW. Get back to you later..Hope you have the strength :p :p :p :p :p :p Bonnie

[Les]

Mark,
To quote Jeff Foxworthy: "Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts..." :rolleyes:

[Billy]

I knowit........you've eloped.

[tommy]

I love my wife, but can't resist repeating one of my favorite lines from the TV show Cheers.

Norm........"Women, you can't do anything with them.....(pause)......Pass the beer nuts." :D

[Bryan B]

Well this is my first post to this important topic since I'm only 5 weeks out.

I can now climb 2 flights of stairs with ease (and I'm single :D ).

[Granbonny]

Single? Maybe not for long ;) ;) ;) Our little secret. :D Bonnie

[Ross]

Well this is my first post to this important topic since I'm only 5 weeks out.

I can now climb 2 flights of stairs with ease (and I'm single :D ).Yeah but you have a built in crutch.

[hensylee]

I climbed two flights of stairs last night, too. Maybe three.

[Les]

Well, two or three flights equates to two or three "stories" ;) Hmmm?

[Karlynn]

Okay Anne -out with it! ;) We want details - that don't have to be bleeped at least. We won't tell anyone!!!! :cool:

[Birky]

This post just keeps getting longer and longer. The "thing" is good exercise if done right. I am not going to say anymore.

[Abbanabba]

Hmmmm..... I'm having trouble climbing 2 or 3 steps at the moment..!! :(

....but then why waste energy climbing stairs..?? I'd rather conserve it for the "main event"... heh heh heh :D :D :D

A : )

[Johnny Stephens]

This post just keeps getting longer and longer.

Er...[cough]...[snort]..at my age, I'm OK with that. :D

[Birky]

My husband says that this is the best cure for ingrown toenails and any other thing that you could possibly get except pregnancy. I believe all men are on the same wave length or something. I am work and this is really giving me a chuckle.

[Granbonny]

First came love.... :) Then came Marriage.. :D Then comes Ann with a baby Carriage :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p Bonnie

[bvdr]

Ann, I take it the hip is doing a little better? :o

[Karlynn]

Ann, I take it the hip is doing a little better? :o


Gosh Betty, I don't understand. What ever could you mean? :confused:

[Ben Smith]

WOW................

I can't take it any more!

I will no longer read this thread !

Y'all are makin my wife pay the price ROFLMAO !!!


Hey, I am a 31 year old man (pig) this is all I think about. Just ask my wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to go Anne. You have become my new hero !

Hell, I can't wait 'till Cindy comes home from work now............If I play my cards right, I might get to kiss this one !!!!!!!!!!!!!

God bless and good luck tonight !!!

Ben

[Leighanne]

All these sex posts have made me wonder how long the "problem" has been me and I did not pay enough attention until I no longer "couldnt" and now I guess it makes sense. Did the rest of you have a hard time before surgery, before you knew you needed surgery? I thought it was just because my husband needed to lose weight??? Sorry, too much info?
Leighanne

[Karlynn]

Did the rest of you have a hard time before surgery, before you knew you needed surgery? Leighanne

Yes - if it involved any "work" on my part. :rolleyes: But then it also could have been the fact that I had 2 small children at the time and it wasn't my heart! :o

Ben - I don't think age has much to do with it - you're a GUY! Men supposedly think about sex once every 5 minutes, over 200 times in a day. The joke around our house for quite some time would be when my husband would look over at me and say "34" or "159".

[Leighanne]

I have a child with autism and epilepsy so I wonder how often I ever have to worry about "it"
Leighanne

[Abbanabba]

Okay Anne -out with it! ;) We want details - that don't have to be bleeped at least. We won't tell anyone!!!! :cool:
Hey.... c'mon.... perhaps Ann's not one of those "kiss & tell" kinda gals. After all, it's not like she's out cavorting with David Beckham..!! ;)

(...you're not out cavorting with David Beckham..... are you.... Ann..??!!! :D ..)


A : )

[knightfan2691]

Ben - I don't think age has much to do with it - you're a GUY! Men supposedly think about sex once every 5 minutes, over 200 times in a day. The joke around our house for quite some time would be when my husband would look over at me and say "34" or "159".

*raises eyebrows*

*daydreams*

Would be nice to share some of those thoughts with a female ;). LOL!

[Ross]

I don't think age has much to do with it - you're a GUY! Men supposedly think about sex once every 5 seconds, over 17,280 times in a day. The joke around our house for quite some time would be when my husband would look over at me and say "34" or "159".
FIXED!

http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/exactly.gif http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/Horse%20rider.gif

[Karlynn]

FIXED!

http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/exactly.gif http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/Smilies/Horse%20rider.gif

I was hoping no one would catch on. The 200 was for men that aren't considered normal. I should have figured you'd notice. :D

[Ross]

What can I say, I'm hormonally challenged. :D What really stinks is to have all this desire and no air to do much about it! :eek:

[dwfreck]

Ross,

In defense of Karlynn, mathematically speaking, 17,280 is still "over 200", so you're both still correct.

Leighanne,

I knew I would need surgery for approximately 4 years, it was just a matter of waiting for my valve to deteriorate enough to justify the surgery. During that time I helplessly watched my cardiovascular stamina decrease, and impact all kinds of activities, including sex. Yet, I during much of those 4 years, I just assumed I was just getting more and more out of shape.

Karlynn,

I can assure you that I DID NOT think about sex AT ALL during the entire 5 days I was in the hospital. Quick, how many 5-minute intervals would that be?

[knightfan2691]

I can assure you that I DID NOT think about sex AT ALL during the entire 5 days I was in the hospital.

*raises eyebrow*

You didn't?

Hmmm...

*rubs chin*

Guess you didn't have cute nurses like I did ;).

[Harpoon]

In defense of dwfreck in defense of Karlynn, I didn't think much about sex in the hospital either and I was there for 9 weeks plus.


However, I did have one particularly racy dream/hallucination that I just won't get into at the moment......


Man those were some GOOD meds! :D


Yeah. After I got out a guy who works with my dad and knew what I had been through called the house and asked how I was doing. he asked if I had "checked it" while I was in the hospital, to make sure everything still worked....


Believe me, that was the LAST thing I was worried about working during my stay in Cleveland!!!


And yeah, I had some very nice nurses, but I'm a decent man, really....

Well....

Ummm...


Yeah, I'm decent...



Just don't ask my wife OK?


insert evil sly grin here

[Johnny Stephens]

Ditto, Harpoon. I could barely walk, I couldn't eat...I mean REALLY now, I was supposed to be thinking about that TOO? Sheesh. That "every five minutes" bit I might have bought when I was 17, but when I've just emerged from OHS -- sorry.

[Les]

After both AVRs..."SCHWING" wasn't even in my vocabulary...

[Ross]

Can't say that it was for me either. Couple of the cutest nurses were the meanest ones there and I frankly didn't want them near me. Anything that was good looking in there=The Devil!

[Bryan B]

Interesting...I'm single like Cort and I was thinking about it less than 24 hours after surgery...that's when the 1st nurse in the step down unit paid a visit to my room (she was a real cutie :p ). It's not that I felt like doing anything about it at the time, but it was nice to be thinking about it again. Until I had the surgery (and the 5+ weeks of recovery since) I didn't realize how "fatigued" I was for a long time before the surgery.

:D

[Glenda]

Bryan I love the new picture :) :) :)

[tobagotwo]

I'm with you, Bryan. Those thoughts never left my mind. The Foley made them disconcerting, though.

When they sent me home on day three, the nurse said "...you may resume sexual relations..." and I grinned and stuck my tongue out at my wife, who sighed and rolled her eyes. No rest for the weary.

I think she's really still extremely concerned that I will hurt myself in some dire way during the process, even though I haven't damaged myself yet. I realize at some level that I can't guarantee that I won't. In fact, I'd probably be thinking, "what a way to go!" Not much solace for her, I guess.

Any thoughts how to help a spouse know that she's not being negligent recovery-wise when she sends hubby on a little trip to cloud nine during his recovery phase?

[Blanche]

In 1990, when Al had his valve replaced, people were required to wait for two weeks before having sex. On his exit visit, the doctor told AL that he could resume sexual relations, with a known partner, in 8 days. Of course, you see it coming. My dear one had to ask, "How long before I can have sex with an unknown partner?" I kept close watch on him after that...just in case!

Blanche

[Granbonny]

4,011...replies 221....Congrats to N.C. Cutie for starting the longest, continuing (Not a day missed) thread ever started on VR. :D :D :D :D AND..the winner for top posts...drum roll :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p Our own..Ross. :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: Would hate to see it die out..so, here's a question? Do you guys get turned on looking at ALL the beautiful women on VR???Mark's legs today..posted this morning..sure raised my heartbeat.. :D :D :D :D :D Bonnie

[knightfan2691]

*raises eyebrow*

*notices Bonnie's loaded question*

*covers mouth quickly*

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it might incriminate me.

Yes, I realize that sounds all too familiar....

LOL!

*reviews other new posts*

I suppose I shoulda clarified a bit more.

*points to Bryan's post*

What he said.

I was _thinking_ about it...obviously not able to do anything about it. Tho, I suppose I shoulda obtained that nurse's phone#....

*bangs head on computer desk*

Ah, well...the right one will come along sometime.

Yeah...and when she does...she's going to have some fun like she has never had before ;). All this pent up energy...I tell ya...lol ;).

*rolls eyes*

[Abbanabba]

I think she's really still extremely concerned that I will hurt myself in some dire way during the process, even though I haven't damaged myself yet. ....Any thoughts how to help a spouse know that she's not being negligent recovery-wise when she sends hubby on a little trip to cloud nine during his recovery phase?
Just think STARFISH!!!! heh heh


Blanche, petal, sounds like your hubby needs a good slap upside the head! Cheeky bugger!!!!


Cort,
I keep tellin' ya - you've got to book yourself a trip Down Under (..to Australia, that is :D ..). I've got plenty of single friends looking for "Mr Right".... and even a couple who would be happy with "Mr Right-Now"!! ;) ;)


Cheers
A : )

[Rain]

Even in the hospital, I only thought about sex once a day. :D Every morning my gorgeous heart surgeon would come by my room to admire his handy work. :p


If my husband or children ever read this........... I'M KIDDING!!! :eek: :D

[Ross]

And this is all I have to say about this! (http://home.neo.rr.com/blebs99/batheher.wav)

[knightfan2691]

Cort,
I keep tellin' ya - you've got to book yourself a trip Down Under (..to Australia, that is :D ..). I've got plenty of single friends looking for "Mr Right".... and even a couple who would be happy with "Mr Right-Now"!! ;) ;)

*ponders*

Ya know....I may just have to do that ;). Course, you could always tell your single friends to come visit Chicagoland :).

*sighs*

If only it were that easy............

Cort, "Mr Road Trip"/"The Uniter", 30swm w/pig valve & pacemaker
member & newsletter editor, Faith COB = http://www.faithcob.org
"Mr MC"'s Family...& train & models = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
K's BL = http://forums.demonsoftware.com/index.php?showforum=15
Spotting MCs = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
MC's Future = http://www.projectmonte.com/petition/

[fyrfytr]

After surgery I had a couple of good looking nurses and when one left the room my wife grabbed ahold of my catheter and told me I could look but not to touch! :p
Take Care

[SJJ]

After surgery I had a couple of good looking nurses and when one left the room my wife grabbed ahold of my catheter and told me I could look but not to touch! :p
Take Care

Now that's a woman who knows how to take matters into her own hands! ;) Sue

[Marc Gunderson]

Anna
If your friends are as beautiful as you I might have to come over for a visit too
:)

[Marc Gunderson]

And how could any girl refuse such a handsome face like mine.
Just look at my photo
:eek:

[Abbanabba]

Oh you're a definite stud muffin!!!! ;) :D

A : )

[Marc Gunderson]

Anna,
Your a darlin
And i combed my hair before that photo too :D

[Birky]

I think you look more like a chick magnet by the looks of the picture. Sex was not on my mind at all in the hospital or until I started feeling better. My husband was afraid that I would break or get hurt ,

[Karlynn]

My husband would say that sex wasn't on my mind after surgery...12 years after surgery. :p But then I've found that men have selective amnesia. 5 minutes afterwards he's talking about how he can't remember the last time.... After 23 years, I just walk away. :rolleyes:

Maybe we should start a thread on ROMANCE after surgery. That would probably have the record for the least number of posts and views. :D And NO - taking your sox off isn't romance.

(Except he just booked our airfare to Paris next month. So I'd better not complain. Woo hoo!!!!)

[Birky]

Don't some of the medications have side effects that have to do with your desire? That is what it says on the paper you get with the medicine. I would assume that most people are just afraid of hurting themselves. For women only, menopause doesn't help either.Yuck. yuck, yuck. :p

[hensylee]

just returned from my date - our last one was 19 yrs 25 days ago (but who's counting). Back then we were............close.

we picked up right where we left off- we talked about old times, then about our doctors, our medicines, our operations, our illnesses and then

******Attention: The editors have viewed the material in this thread and reached the conclusion that the content is unsuitable for all readers, therefore it is herewith censored.

and then he brought me home, several days later, to my son's front door. We might do it again in 19 yrs and 25 days (but who's counting).

We are still...................close!

[bvdr]

:cool: :cool:Hennyslee, I don't think I can quite congratulate you but I sure can't scold your either. It is so nice to hear from you again and know things are humming along. :)

[Birky]

Sounds great to me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. :rolleyes:

[Ross]

My husband would say that sex wasn't on my mind after surgery...12 years after surgery. :p But then I've found that men have selective amnesia. 5 minutes afterwards he's talking about how he can't remember the last time.... After 23 years, I just walk away. :rolleyes:

Maybe we should start a thread on ROMANCE after surgery. That would probably have the record for the least number of posts and views. :D And NO - taking your sox off isn't romance.

(Except he just booked our airfare to Paris next month. So I'd better not complain. Woo hoo!!!!)
Glenn get in here and defend yourself man! That Vicious she-beast of yours is ragging us guys. Perhaps you should spank her more often? :D

[tobagotwo]

Just think STARFISH!!!! heh heh :)

Starfish, eh? Hmmm. New reading material…


Star-Crossed Love A deep-sea how-to for the adventurous pentapod

Armitage Multilimbed simultaneous massage in the art of lovemaking

Then We Ate Clams A love story

The Erotic Echinoderm A gentleman’s book of arm-wrestling techniques

When the Coral Calls Understanding ourselves when the spring surges arrive

Echino Exotica Forbidden positions from the Wheel of Five

And Then There Were Four How one starfish learns that size, and even an entirely missing limb doesn’t count in true love – and it grows back!

A Call to Arms Love in the rough surf

Asteroidea Sutra How foreign starfish do it, complete with revolting illustrations

Armoire The art of self-love

Sex and Success in Starfish Society How to get a leg up

I’m Pisaster, You’re Dermasterias Walking through life together, arm in arm in arm in arm in arm

Under the Brittle Stars True Crown-of-Thorns romance in the crowded coral

Armageddon What to do when you can't perform

[ShezaGirlie]

"We might do it again in 19 yrs and 25 days (but who's counting)."

Do what again?? :D

[Karlynn]

Glenn get in here and defend yourself man! That Vicious she-beast of yours is ragging us guys. Perhaps you should spank her more often? :D

He would. But I have the keys to the handcuffs. ;)

[Harpoon]

He would. But I have the keys to the handcuffs. ;)


This is why I keep two seperate sets of keys... :D

[Abbanabba]

Starfish, eh? Hmmm. New reading material…


That was pretty damn funny Bob!! :D :D

....not quite what I envisaged, but whatever rocks your boat, eh?

A : )

[Billy]

....just one further question.......

When he left you 'home' again, did you have a big smile on your face?

Cheers,

[hensylee]

Janie, in 19 yrs, 25 days we'll be too old to remember what it was, I guess. But for today, I think it's called 'it'.

We saw some star fish the other day at the beach - is THAT what was goin on. So funny.

[hensylee]

....just one further question.......

When he left you 'home' again, did you have a big smile on your face?

Cheers,


er um uh - you know what they say about the funeral director and the smile, don't you? :D :D :p

[Mary]

After reading this ongoing thread, I realized this morning that as a member of the Waiting Room, I need to stop reading the posts and start an exercise, practice regime that will eliminate this unbeknownst complication of OHS.
(I'll tell my husband he owes his good fortune to VR!)
Mary

[joy]

Ummm, I have noticed that NC-Cutie hasn't replied for several days?????? Maybe we did help her?

The first thing I asked the surgeon was, "when can I have sex?" He said "all you have to do is get creative and not put weight on your sternum." Of course I had to wait for a week because my mom was at my house and I was sleeping in the same bed with her...don't think Kev would enjoy THAT! My husband thinks about sex 24-7. He says he can't help it, it's a "guy thing"

[hensylee]

"get creative"? I thought you had to climb 2 flights of stairs first. :confused: :D