Wife Scheduled For Surgery, I'm Scared

[Dan H]

Hi All,

This is my first visit to this site. I guess I'm looking for a little support as I'm nervous and anxious about my wife's upcoming procedure.

My wife is scheduled for Mitral Valve Repair on Oct. 3, just one week from today. In some ways I'm glad it is almost here just to get this over with. But I can't keep from thinking about the risks and basically, if anything were to happen to her. At times I'm overcome with anxiety / grief.

Overall, she is in good physical shape with no complicating factors like coronary artery disease. I believe this should help lower the risk a little. And the procedure is being done at Columbia Presbyterian in New York so they have had a lot of experience with valve repair surgery. Still, I can't get the risk issue out of my head.

I'm trying to be strong for her, to keep her from being upset. But silently, this is taking a toll on me.

Any advise? Words of encouragement?

Thanks,
Dan H

[ALCapshaw2]

Welcome Dan,

First, Heart Surgery has evolved into a highly refined art with Fantastic Success Rates (98%) for First Time surgeries under age 60. That is WAY better than what would happen without the surgery.

Just about everybody on this website represents a SURVIVOR or family member of a Survivor. If we can do it, so can your wife. She will be fine.

On the "just in case" side, she may want to think about a Second Choice (valve type) in case the repair is not successful.

I recommend that you browse through the various forums, especially the Pre-Surgery Forum, Post-Surgery Forum, Valve Selection Forum, and Anti-coagulation Forum (needed for mechanical valves) along with AL Lodwick's very informative site www.warfarinfo.com which explains everything you need to know about living with Coumadin / Warfarin.

It's a lot of reading, but you will soon find that you and your wife are NOT alone in this matter and that the vast majority of us are much better than we were before surgery.

Please feel free to ask any specific questions that may arise as you learn more about this experience.

'AL Capshaw'

[pipersmith]

I just want to add my encouragement. Your wife is lucky to have such support in you. I think that educating yourself as much as possible will not only make you feel better, but help you to be the best advocate for your wife. There is so much information to learn, however, this information will help ease your fears, and help you and your wife understand the condition and procedures that you are both going through.

Best of luck to you both!! Stay in touch here - best support team ever!!!!!

[bvdr]

Dan, first of all know that if you didn't feel a little anxious about Lisa's upcoming valve repair then you wouldn't be human. That being said, I think one of the best things to do in the next week are the things you have under your control such as preparations for her hospital stay and for her first couple of weeks at home. Clear your calendar, stock up on some necessities (toilet paper, coffee), and prepare a comfortable environment for her return home. Many post-op valve patients feel more comfortable sleeping in a recliner the first several days although that isn't always the case. She needs to be able to get in and out of her chair and bed without putting stress on her arms and shoulders. She will have a low weight lifting limitation (I was restricted to 5 lbs for the first week at home) so no gallon jugs of milk in the frig. By taking care of some of these real practical tasks you might reduce the focus on what is not under your control. I think anytime someone is under-going very serious surgery a time of spiritual examination is in order. Praying is important and then trusting that the surgeon will do what he is well-trained to do and that God will be there watching over Lisa.

Welcome to this board. You are among people here who do understand what you are going through. Others will soon be along and offer help.

[hensylee]

Welcome to VR, Dan. This is the comfort place we all need before surgery, and after. All of us might not have answers, but we have support and words of encouragement. Naturally you are apprehensive and rightly so - we all have been there. This apprehension is what brings most of us to this site. We will stand by you all the way through. If she computes, ask her if she'd like to join us, too. We'll be your sounding board for whatever comes along and someone's always home.

[Karlynn]

Here we are a family of people who've had successful valve repairs and replacements, or the supportive SO's of those who have. Life will be great post-October 3!

Can you tell us a little about your wife? Her age? When she had her valve issue diagnosed?

[geebee]

Welcome Dan,

I think it is easier being the patient since we get to sleep through the surgery and then get great drugs after.;) :D ;)

Seriously, tho, your wife is going to a wonderful hospital. I used to see a doctor at CP and it is a quality facility with care that is above reproach.

Since she is in good shape going in, recovery will be much easier. Although these surgeries are major surgeries and do carry some risk, they are so routine that the risks are minimal.

The important thing is to communicate your feelings and let her communicate hers. Being strong is great but being open is better. Let her know you are scared and love her.

Let us know how we can help.

[twinmaker]

Hey Dan and Welcome! We're glad you found us. It's certainly normal for you to feel scared. I, for one, am glad I was the patient and not the SO. I think you will feel better and less afraid when you read the posts on our site and learn something about what will happen concerning your wife's procedure. I've always found that not being familiar with something makes it seem so much worse. So I believe that the more you learn, the less scared you will be. You'll find that we are willing to share our experiences and will just listen when you want us to do that. Everyone on this site is so encouraging and we really are one big family. I had a mitral valve repair and a replacement. My repair was in 1974 and my replacement was in 1981. I'm really doing great and life is better after surgery. Heart surgery has come a long way since I had my first one. It really is a miracle, the things that are being done. We look forward to getting to know you and your wife, and remember that we're here for you. LINDA

[maka]

Hi Dan
I also had my mitral valve repaired at NY Presbyterian last year. My surgeon was Dr. Krieger. Is he your wife's surgeon?
Is probably that during the first few weeks she'll be tired and will need a lot of rest. As someone metioned before, a good recliner is really very helpful as you don't what her to be in bed for long period of times. I also recommend to make a lot of meals ahead and freeze them to make life easier. You'll find a lot of help at this site. It is natural to be concern, but it is not as bad as we think it is. Everything will be OK

[temp69]

The main thing to remember is, everything is going to be fine. She will be fine, and so will you. Your job now is to be strong and supportive and give her love. These cats really know what they're doing, so the success rate is phenomenal.

Hang in there and just breathe deeply and hold your wife and tell her you love her.:D

[davidfortune]

Dan,

Welcome. Sorry you're here but Glad you found us!

Speaking as the "patient", I think some times it is hard for my wife to understand the maelstrom of emotions that I experience. Sometimes I'm confident, sometimes I'm freaked, sometimes I'm in disbelief, sometimes I'm resigned, sometimes I'm stressed, sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I'm happy (at least they found it and it can be "fixed"), sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I'm peaceful, sometimes I'm resolute, sometimes I'm analytical, sometimes I'm afraid....

What do I want my wife to feel - just as confusing to me? Sometimes I want her to be confident, sometimes I want her to be concerned, sometimes I want her to be compassionate, sometimes I want her to be consoling, sometimes I want her to empathize, sometimes I want her to sympathize. Often I want her to listen, to try and understand the hours of research I've done and the ambiguities of the decision ahead of me. I don't want her to come to an "obvious" decision because to me there isn't an obvious choice otherwise I wouldn't have struggled with the choice so much.

So I don't have concrete answers for you. It depends on her but I bet sometimes she wants to know that you are a little freaked, sometimes she wants to know that you can't bear to think of life without her so that isn't even a possibility, sometimes she wants you to be reassuring.

Your challenge (as always - especially as the stereotypically less intuitive male) is to know what she want when. In reality though, it doesn't matter. I think feeling your feelings and letting her know your fears, as well as you confidence will strengthen her and encourage her more than always "Putting on a Brave face". I think these trials in life are tremendous opportunities to draw closer to our spouses and build an intimacy that can only come through trial and perseverance.

Great surgeons and great hospitals usually make for good results so reason says "not much reason to be afraid" emotion says "I'm scared sh*tless". There is room for both.

I say be open and honest with your feelings and fears as well as talking through the rational side.

Good luck,
David

[Sheila2old]

Welcome Dan,
As the patient, I can't imagine what you are going through but I do know that you are headed in the right direction.....you are searching for information about her illness! And boy have you came to the right spot!

My hubby is a 'strong silent' type and No, I don't want him as freaked out as I am but it's good to let her know how you are feeling. I, today, just found a Dr to do my surgery (I'm a bit complicated) and my hubby had been silent up until our 4 hour ride home today and he finally let me know how frustrated he had been about my condition and difficulty finding a Dr. It helped me knowing that he had been listening but didn't want to add to my stress by showing how upset he had been too. Once things were out in the open, it helped us both, so just let her know how you feel and the people here will help support you when you are feeling a bit down.

Just remember she is in good hands and with you behind her, she'll be fine and the more you both know, the better you'll handle things ahead. Good luck & God Bless you both!

[DeWayne]

Sheila glad to see your experience at Emory worked out for you, I hope all goes well and soon you can join us on this side of the mountain!

[WayneGM]

Hi Dan,

I had a mitral valve repair done as the "patient" about 7 months ago. The surgery and hospital stay was not nearly as bad as my wife or I feared (except the food....it was just as terrible as I expected! About as bland as you can get!). In fact, my wife was quite surprised at how quickly I was up and around between the day of surgery and my release from hospital a week later, not that I was ready to do cartwheels or anything like that. :D

During my recovery, my wife has been my "pacemaker". She keeps me in check when I'm about to over do it as I tend to get impatient with "taking it easy". We certainly had bumps in the road during recovery, but the doctors and nurses were outstanding and I must say I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of care, their empathy, and their knowledge. In fact, it was quite enlightening to see just how "routine" OHS seems to be to these professionals. I take comfort in that.

Go to this website as there are some booklets and downloadable videos that I thought very helpful as we prepared outselves for my surgery.

http://www.uhn.ca/programs/cardiovascular_surgery/cv_pt_info.asp

Good luck

[Dan H]

All,

Thanks very much for all of your responses and the time you took to write back. It is encouraging to hear back from so many of you who have been through this or are facing it in the near future.

Contrary to what I included in my first posting, I haven't totally been putting on a strong face for the last few weeks. Lisa and I have had a few emotional discussions (one more of a breakdown) about the operation. She knows that she has my 100% support and love along with a lot of help from family and friends during here stay at the hospital. Her biggest concern is our kids who at 15 and 11 have a lot of school activities, sport and homework. Being an involved and loving mother, she is the one who does all of the scheduling and basically all the running around to get them from place to place. For the week she will be away, we have made plans with other parents to help out but I know she is worried about it. I do a lot of cooking, so preparing some meals ahead of time are already in progress.

Thanks for other suggestions about things like the recliner and other things for her return home.

Some additional info....Lisa is 46 years old. She was diagnosed in June 2006 with moderate to severe leakage. We saw three cardiologists. Two recommended surgery to repair / replace the valve. The other one said we could wait a while and see how it progresses. Basically, Lisa is asymptomatic with the exception of being more tired than usual. So this procedure is considered elective, I guess. We are told that the thinking now is to try to address the valve repair before symptoms do appear. That was really the basis for our decision to go with the surgery. Last week, Lisa had an angiogram and it showed no arterial blockages, no change in heart size and good blood flow through the lungs. The surgeon is Dr. Craig Smith at Columbia Presbyterian. He seemed think that there was a high probability that a repair could be performed. If replacement is necessary, Lisa decided to go with the tissue valve to reduce the need for permanent blood thinners. The downside here is the possibility of having to replace the valve again in 10-15 years. Hopefully, the repair can be made. Dr. Smith told us he plans to perform the surgery using minimally invasive techniques if possible. Lisa's small frame and weight seem to make her a good candidate for it.

Thanks again for your feedback. Your words of encouragement and experience here are reassuring.

Dan

[bvdr]

Dan, If the surgeon is able to do the surgery through a more minimally invasive approach Lisa could well be driving within a couple of weeks. I had my mitral valve replaced with a St. Jude mechanical valve and I had clearance to drive within a week to ten days. As soon as my lifting restriction was removed and I was no longer on any pain meds I was free to drive. For some time through I had to keep a soft pillow across my chest and under the chest restraint since it was very sensitive and uncomfortable for quite some time. Oh, tell Lisa too that she may want to plan on camisoles or something similar rather than traditional bras for at least a few weeks.

[sylviayasgur]

hi dan,
welcome to this wonderful site. my husband, joey, is the patient here and so i can relate to how you must be feeling. (my dad is also a valver).

the only thing i can add is that our kids were 17 and 14 at the time of joey's surgery, both just in h.s. i made a point of talking to the guidance counselor and having him tell the teachers so that they'd be more prepared. i wanted our kids to have the freedom to 1) not go to school and come to the hospital with me (or relatives), 2) not complete their homework because they might be visiting the hospital, 3) maybe not have their "total minds" on their work in and out of class...
it helped a lot.

lisa is in great hands. in fact, i think jason had dr. smith as his surgeon. he's very reputable, in fact, joey's cardio recommended him for joey's surgery 5 years ago.

the hardest part is the waiting and lack of control, but you have to try to trust.
please try to relax, enjoy your time as a family and prep (as you are already doing) for the big homecoming.
i look forward to hearing more about how you are doing and how things go.
be well,
sylvia

[ALCapshaw2]

Getting her valve fixed BEFORE any permanent damage is done to her heart is EXACTLY the RIGHT thing to do.

I believe I got to surgery 'just in time' and my recovery had some complications and was longer than most. I'm a firm believer that "SOONER IS BETTER".

'AL Capshaw'

[Georgia]

Welcome, Dan. I think you've had about all the warnings you needs about how difficult a post-op ohs patient can be. Her memory may be shot for a while, and her emotions will likely be out of control occasionally. You probably won't want to mention that to her. :eek:

You may have trouble with your kids as well. My girls were 14 and 16 when I had cancer; they said very little but were terrified. We had real problems with one of them acting out for several months. There more they're involved in the whole thing the better they'll do. I strongly suggest that they each have responsibilities around the house during your wife's recuperation - she won't be able to vacuum or do laundry. She'll need someone to accompany her on walks for the first couple of weeks. Have the kids put together "sounds" for her to listen to on an ipod or mp3 player after surgery. They can go to the video store & choose movies.

Best of luck next week. Please take her shopping and out to eat and do fun stuff over the weekend; it'll help take her (and your) mind off this.

[Phyllis]

Welcome to the site, Dan. I put your wife on the calendar for Oct. 3rd. I know how hard it is to be the mate, not the patient. A repair is good and she is going to a great hospital so all should be fine as you have already been reassured. Sending you our best wishes and I hope you will post once she is out of recovery. Godspeed.

[Adrienne]

I just want to tell you that I had a mitral valve repair last October, and 3 weeks later I felt wonderful (sore chest of course). My repair was more complicated than most, but I had a wonderful surgeon, and when I was awakened by my husband and told that everything had gone well and that the surgeon had been able to do a repair (I had 80% chance for a repair), I gave the "thumbs up" sign (I was intubated and could not talk). Every day I felt a bit better.

Another thing you could do to prepare for her coming home is to put a plastic lawn chair (or something) in the shower (if you have a walk-in shower) so that the first week she can sit on it taking a shower.

She is doing the right thing in having the operation now while the valve is still able to be repaired.

I will think of you on October 3.

[susieq14]

Just wanted to send you and your wife Lisa lots of positive thoughts and best wishes as you prepare for her surgery. I also have a leaky mitral valve without any symptoms and am still in the "waiting room". It is very frustrating to say the least but with the love and support of my dear husband, i am dealing with it... So just be there for Lisa even if you do have to break down - she needs you no matter what! We do not have children so I can't offer any advice along those lines. You all have my prayers!

Take Care!
Susie

[ALCapshaw2]

In response to questions about recovery milestones in your private mail, I thought it best to reply publicly on the forum in case others may also be interested.

There are MANY milestones along the road to recovery from Open Heart Surgery which may take anywhere from a few months to a year or more depending on the individual, age, other factors, etc. Naturally, younger, first time patients tend to heal faster than older patients or repeat patients.

Here are the significant Milestones as I see them:

1 - Surviving Surgery - the surgeon will talk with you afterwards and tell you how he feels it went

2 - ICU / intubation / drain tube removal / pacemaker wire removal. ICU stay can vary from 1 day to 2 or 3 when there are no major complications. Major complications are NOT common for otherwise healthy first time patients. Most 'normal' stays in the hospital vary from 4 to 7 days, depending on how rapidly the patient is recovering (i.e. being able to walk the prescribed distances before release etc.)

3 - The first 2 weeks, most patients feel VERY WEAK and tire easily. It is best to have someone with her most of the time for at least the first week and preferably for 2 weeks if that can be arranged.

4 - Weeks 2 to 6 is when significant strides can be seen for most patients. Some days will be better than others, but as long as there is discernable progress on a weekly basis, that is a good sign. By 6 weeks many are able to drive and even to return to work. At this point, the sternum should be healed to 80% of normal strength. This is a good time to begin Cardiac Rehabilitation if your insurance will cover the cost. Otherwise, get a list of stretches and exercises from the surgeon or Rehab facility and do them at home.

5 - At 12 weeks, the sternum should be fully healed and she should be 'most of the way back' to normal. Some patients continue to note improvement for several more months. A balance of regular exercise (mostly walking and stretches) and rest is the key to a steady recovery. Resist the urge to go too fast or do too much. That only sets you back.

With a FULL sternum cut, many of us had INTENSE muscle pains from being stretched WAY beyond our normal range of motion. MASSAGE is BETTER and FASTER than any pain medication at relieving Muscle Pain.

If you haven't burned out on reading, there is an excellent book entitled "Overcoming Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression" by J. Jude, M.D. et.al. which includes a chapter on what to expect week by week during recovery.

Fingers crossed for a successful REPAIR!

'AL Capshaw'

[Dan H]

Al,

Thanks for the detailed message and timeline.

Our surgeon had told us he planned to make a minimally invasive incisision which I took to be in a horizontal direction. Basically, between ribs I think. Does that sound right?

We were told that it could be more painful initially, but should heal quicker.

You are the second person who noted that massage is a good technique here to relieve pain and generally relax. Sounds good to me.

Thanks Al.

Dan

[Adrienne]

I had been hoping to have the minimally invasive surgery where they go betwen the ribs on the right side. My case was too complicated. However, I correspond with a woman who is a friend of a friend who had a mitral valve repair by the minimally invasive method, and she was back at work 3 weeks later!!!! If your wife can have that, it would be fantastic!!!

[Cris N]

Wondering how your wife's surgery went today?

[Dan H]

All,

Sorry about this late report but I am now just getting to my computer.

Lisa's surgery was performed this morning by Dr. Craig Smith at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York. I'm happy to report that the operation went smoothly and Dr. Smith was able to repair the mitral valve. The surgery was completed by about noon and Lisa was moved to the CICU by about 1 PM.

The breathing tube was removed around 5 PM and we were able to talk. She was resting somewhat comfortably when I left at 10 PM but had a fair amount of pain at the incision locations. Plan as of this evening was a move to the step down unit some time tomorrow.

Thanks to all of you for your support, prayers and advice. It really helped to have that kind of backup prior to surgery.

I'll keep you posted on Lisa's progress through out this week as she recovers.

Thanks again.

Dan and Lisa

[geebee]

Dan,

Thanks for the update. I hope now that you can get some rest and feel a bit more relaxed. Great to hear about the repair.

Hope things continue to go smoothly.

[bvdr]

Great News! I hope she has a quick and complete recovery as well. I'm sure you are both so pleased a repair could be done. Sleep well tonight.

[gijanet]

Sorry so late, but I just saw this. I am so grateful that things went well. Please do keep us posted. Many hugs. Janet

[PJmomrunner]

What good news, Dan. I'm glad things went as planned and hope her recovery is just as smooth.

[aussiemember]

Dan - what great news - so happy for the both of you!!! :)

[susieq14]

Hello Dan,
So happy to hear that Lisa's surgery went well! I was thinking of all of you all day Tuesday. I hope that you got some good sleep last night and that you find Lisa in good condition when you see her today. Give her my best wishes for an easy and uneventful recovery!

Take Care!
Susie

P.S. Hope your children are doing well too!

[Phyllis]

Just the kind of good news we were all waiting for. Give her our best wishes for a speedy and uneventful recovery. We look forward to your next update!

[sylviayasgur]

wishing a continued smooth and uneventful recovery. glad to hear things went so well.
all the best,
sylvia

[pipersmith]

So happy for the good news! Continued prayers and best wishes for a successful recovery!!

[davidfortune]

Thanks for the update Dan. Congratulations to you and Lisa on completion of the first hurdle. Now it is time to focus on the recovery.

Keep us updated.

David

[Sheila2old]

That's good news and I hope she continues to do well!

[ALCapshaw2]

GREAT NEWS Dan !

Glad to hear that Lisa's repair was successful!

'AL Capshaw'

[Adrienne]

Fantastic! Did you say before that it was going to be a minimally invasive type of repair? Keep us informed, and thumbs up from me!

[CathyK.]

Great news Dan. I will be praying for a quick and uneventful recovery for Lisa and yourself!

[Dan H]

Hi All,

Lisa came home yesterday and is trying to catch up on some much needed sleep. She has a fair amount of pain especially once the pain medication starts to wear off.

Probably more difficult is the nausea she is experiencing from the pain meds. They have prescribed some anti-nausea drugs but so far, her appetite has not been very big. I'm trying to get her to eat, even in small amounts since I know that this is one of the keys to a speedy recovery. We'll see how how the next few days go. At least she's eating a little but she says nothing tastes very good.

It's goods to have her home and I'll continue to update you on her progress.

Thanks for all of your well wishes and encouragement.

Dan

[PegB]

Hi Dan,

Glad to hear you have Lisa home. I'll be 2 weeks post op tomorrow, and it is like day and night since that time. I stopped taking Percoset after the first day at home and switched to Tylenol every 4 hours. This past week I have switched to 2 Aleve every 12 hours which helps with all the muscle aches. Today was my first all day without anything, but did just take some Aleve for bedtime. You're going to see how fast she starts rebounding real soon now. I could barely make it up the steps when I got home, and now I'm up and down by myself several times a day. Her appetite should kick in again soon too. My main problem has been the muscles and nerves on the left side of the incision which really flare up if I'm using my left arm too much (and I'm left handed). You both have the worst behind you now.

Good luck with the recovery - it WILL get better!

[Nan]

Glad everything went well for you and your wife and that she is home now. She should be feeling much better in a couple of days. Good for you for trying to get her to eat even a little bit! She does need to have nourishment.

[maka]

Dan
I’m so glad to hear that Lisa is already home. The first couple of weeks are a little like “feel good at times and not so good at times”. It is only natural. Make sure that she does not stay in bed for long, better to sit and walk a little, even if it is only a few steps every day. Her appetite will come back once she is out of the pain medication. I see you mention that she is taking medication for nausea, could it be better to ask for a different pain medication? I was on Tylenol from the second day and it helped.
Thanks for keeping us posted.
Maka

[Dan H]

All,

Right now, Lisa is on Tylenol with codine but it didn't work very well yesterday and especially last night. It was a very sleepless night, mainly because of pain in her arm and shoulder, but also some pain at the incision. I'm going to call the doctor this morning and see if maybe we should go back to Percoset. I was hoping that by now we could start reducing the pain medication but it doesn't appear so yet.

One of the things that the surgical staff told us was that younger people actually can have more pain at the incision than older patients. I'm told it has to do with the tightness and tone of the muscles.

I agree that once she is off the pain meds, that she will probably regain her appetite, so hopefully that will be soon.

Will keep you posted.

Dan

[Phyllis]

So sorry that Lisa is having trouble with the incision pain. The loss of appetite is normal. Most people here will tell you that nothing tasted good for at least a couple of weeks. If she is having shoulder pain, massages are a good remedy as well as a recliner instead of the bed.

[susieq14]

Dan,

I'm happy to hear that Lisa is home but sorry to hear that the pain and her meds are giving her grief. Calling the doctor sounds like a good idea and maybe he will have a suggestion or perhaps you'll get some help here from the "veterans". What has been said so far sounds like a good idea to change the meds. And hopefully all that "tender loving care" from you and your children will help speed her recovery!

Please give Lisa my best wishes. I'm sending positive thoughts her way! And you take care of yourself too!

Regards,
Susie

[aussiemember]

Dan,

Thanks for the update - sorry to hear Lisa is still having quite a bit of pain - hopefully the change in medication will resolve this - and that her appetite comes back as well!! Jeanne

[Adrienne]

I also hope that the pain will subside very, very soon. I reiterate what everyone else has said and that in a week or so, there will be a world of difference!

[maka]

Hi Dan
If my math is correct, Lisa had her OHS just 7 days ago and is only natural that she has some pain and discomfort particularly in the shoulders and back (remember about the massages).
She may be uncomfortable for another week or so, but the pain will go away. I found that the least pain medication I took was better as pain medication makes me feel like dummy and space out. She will start seeing improvements little by little day by day. Keep us posted. Thinking and praying for both of you
Maka

[Georgia]

Dan, delighted that Lisa's surgery went so well.

I second Maka's reminder about massaging her shoulder most strongly - the pain in my shoulders wasn't ever touched by pain meds - only massage worked. Had hubby massage 3 times per day to avoid the cramping.

Everything tastes like dirt for a while. The best bet is non-acidic fruit, including juices. Peaches, pears - and strawberry ice cream. Her taste will come roaring back, but those chemicals stay in the system quite a while. How long is idiosyncratic.

Good luck - here's to a nice boring recovery.

[KAJ]

Dan,

As others have already done, I can also testify to the "INTENSE" muscle pain, the terrible taste of most foods and sleepless nights. It was after about a month after surgery did I learn that massaging works better than anything to relieve the pain. I sure I wish I had learned that sooner. It took me at least 6 months before I could sleep soundly. I know your wife will continue to get better but it will take time.

Take Care and God Bless you and your wife.

Karl

[Dan H]

All,

Thanks for the suggestions. We have found that massage has actually been effective at relaxing the shoulder and arm muscles and provides some good, if temporary relief.

I think as long as Lisa is on these pain meds, she will not have much of an appetite. She is eating but it is more forced than a desire to eat.

Overall however, she is doing pretty well. She's having dinner at the table with us and helping the kids with the homework at night. So there's some return to normalcy now.

Thanks and I'll keep you updated.

Dan

[ALCapshaw2]

In addition to Massages, gentle STRETCHING helps to relax the muscles and get them back to normal. Did her surgeon give her an illustrated list of exercises and stretches? If not, ask for them, or contact the nurses at a Cardiac Rehabiliation facility. Cardiac Rehab is an EXCELLENT way to get back into shape but is not recommended until 6 weeks (or more) after surgery. Get clearance from the surgeon before doing any regular exercises / stretches. It is best to NOT put any stress on the sternum / incision for several weeks.

'AL Capshaw'