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Karlynn
February 23rd, 2006, 09:03 AM
Some of these would probably work better on my arrhythmia than some of nasty antiarrhythmics I've been on.

:D :D NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN:D :D

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ..Can we get naked
now?.

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping ,Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.

Yaps
February 23rd, 2006, 09:37 AM
lol..I need some scripts!!!:D

Glenda
February 23rd, 2006, 09:59 AM
Funny, funny! !:D :) I needed a good laugh today. Thanks!

Christina L
February 23rd, 2006, 10:31 AM
transcriptionist, these are too funny! I am going to copy and send to my fellow MTs. :)

Christina L

Praline
February 23rd, 2006, 01:30 PM
Printed 2 copies to send to my sister-in-law and a friend.

Blanche
February 23rd, 2006, 04:35 PM
I sent one to Albert and one to our son....highlighted, of course!!!!
Blanche

geebee
February 23rd, 2006, 04:43 PM
Thanks, Karlynn. You made my day.