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[Barbara Stewart]

I just got around to reading the wonderful posts you all left for me. THank you soo much, but I just don't feel as jubilant as you all were. I am a jumble of emotions, with the most prevalent onet being resentment.
My husband is a wreck, although he wouldn't admit it if he knew it. He comes home and has several glasses of wine and gets very intense or worse, jolly. I know he wants to help but I just need a barrier of calm right now and I don't feel that from him. I know this has been traumatic for him, but it hasn't been a picnic for me. He's just not very strong emotionally, but right now I don't have anything left over for anyone but me.
Has anyone else had this sort of experience? What did you do about it?
Why am I so pi**ed off?
Thanks for listening.
Barbara:confused:

[JimL]

The depression that follows surgery is not to be underestimated. You know already to expect this. I didn't have any warning that it was coming, and it took me by surprise. I expected to feel great, yet I felt so emotional. I became angry for no reason. Why? If only I had had this site before and especially right after surgery! I didn't find VRcom until several months had passed. Share your concerns; those of us who have gone through the surgery certainly understand.

[rbl1999]

Hi, Barbara, we all handle these things differently. Things that did not bother you before your surgery will now. I am six months post op and I still find that I am very sensitive to many things. I find that people don't even ask how I am any more, also I find that if you don't complain that everyone thinks all is well.. Your husband is probably not used to caring for you, and is going thru a difficult time as well. Have you told him how you feel? Please remember that this is a tough time for you and try not to get stressed out. And I also agree, depression goes along with this, and sometimes it sneaks up on me when I least expect it.. Rose

[Mary]

Barbara,
I just went back and read all the threads you started. No wonder you're ticked off; you've had an incredibly tough eight months!:eek: :eek: You have had two OHS since May, and it appears an awful recuperative period after your May surgery.
It's probably too soon for you to be feeling chipper. I felt pretty lousy for the first several weeks, and I was subdued (for me). I was torn between not wanting to ask for help and knowing that I needed help. However, every week that went by, I felt better and more like myself. Once you feel confident that this surgery was successful, and you aren't going to have the same experience that you did in May, you will be able to see the progress you are making every week.
Don't forget, you have the support of the Forum to help you this time around. As Jim wrote, the beauty of the site is it gives you an outlet to share your feelings and receive advice from others who have shared similar experiences. Hang in there; we're here if you need us.
Mary

[Georgia]

Barbara, I say that I think my husband had ptsd after my surgery - I think it really traumatized him. He used to watch me and it drove me to distraction. He went back to work fairly soon after my surgery and I was really glad to see him go, so I wouldn't be "watched." However, in retrospect, I think a lot of the problem was me, not him.

My husband is also a problem drinker, so I know how you feel. Have you asked him to not drink while you're recovering and are pretty fragile physically and emotionally? It'd be pretty scary if you needed to go to the hospital and he was unable to drive you . . .

Finally, you need to focus on you and not on how much he's annoying you. I managed to keep my mom out of here after surgery (after much arguing) because I knew she'd annoy me. Just do your mandatory recovery things and let him do the best he can. Things will settle down again in time.

[Barbara Stewart]

I really appreciate the responses to me most recent post on my depression. I' m so glad it's not just me. I keep reading and writing.
Barbara:confused:

[hensylee]

Barbara, I am sorry this is happening to you. If you were to ask your cardio, you would be told that depression and heart issues can go hand in hand. Nobody seems to know why - at least that I have heard. From time to time one of us turns out to be depressed after surgery, so it isn't a new subject. We encourage you that it will end and hopefully, soon. In the meantime, perhaps if it gets unbearable, see your dr and get a med that may help you get past this bump in the road.

Since your husband is taking this badly, you just have to let him do it his way, but you must also do it your way and that's to not let his drinking interfere with your healing, as said in a previous post.

Heart surgery is serious business, so is healing. Here's hoping you are better soon. If not, get help. Blessins.......