My time to Whine

[RitaAnn]

I finally came to this site to catch up -- I've been avoiding it (darn that ostrich trick, it doesn't seem to work.;) ) Anyway, I've noticed that Kristi, Joe, Andy, Kevin (as well as myself) are all up for surgery this week and I wanted to wish them well.

Right now I'm depressed beyond words. Not only am I going in for a mitral valve repair on Thursday, my husband and I are trying to fight off foreclosure on our house. There will be no Christmas cause we just can't afford it. :(

Also, my surgeon wanted me to drop twenty pounds before the big day but I've only managed to lose 11. I'll do my best to maintain that weight but there's no way I'll drop another 9 by Thursday.

There's so much going on that I'll actually be glad to be away from home for a few days.

The silver lining: One of my kids said "The only thing we need for Christmas is for you to get through the operation safely and then hurry up and get home so you can heal and be healthy." --and she really meant it.:D

I really am counting my blessings but those annoying realities keep kicking me in the head.....

Thanks for listening
RitaAnn

[Christina L]

Your child is right. Money, houses, material things mean NOTHING in this life -it is the love we give and receive. You need to have a better state of mind going into the surgery, so your recovery will be smooth sailing. I know you will come through this bout of doubt and depression - you are scared right now and that is understandable but just focus right now on your surgery and getting through that and recovery. Everything else will take care of itself.

Godspeed.

Christina L

[Lynlw]

Riat, I am so sorry you are going thru so much, I will keep you in my prayers. I don't know if you looked into it, but when are house was in forclosure we declared bankruptcy to save it. Bankruptcy comes w/ it's own set of problems and extra cost, but at least we have our house. I don't know how it works now w/ the new laws to make it harder. but I would definately have you or your husband contact a bankruptcy lawyer tomoorw if you haven't already, good luck w/ everything, Lyn www.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw

[Karlynn]

Your children are right. Very wise.

And 11 pounds, that's over 1/2 of what he told you to lose, so I say "Good going!" That's 11 pounds that your recovering heart won't have to carry around. Congratulations on your weight loss success.

[Phyllis]

Congratulations on the eleven pounds and cherish the family that just wants you in good health for Christmas- I am sure that Dr. Cohn will deliver their wishes- you are in great hands! Wishing you the best and will be waiting to hear all good results.:)

[BDMc]

Dear Rita, First let me congratulate you on the 11 pounds! Check out the bankruptcy route. I didn't have to go that far thank God! But I would encourage you to investigate. The year before I was diagnosed, I was fired from a very good paying job. This was right after buying into a coop house with a group of friends. Needless to say that was stressfull. Then about a year later I'm out of work for health problems! Thankfully I got a leave from my job, and had disability insurance. Only problem there was the woman handling my claim. She didn't find the form on her desk for over 3 months! I ended up with bad credit for a long time because of her! 21 years later I'm still in the house, still at the same job, and my credit has been restored. Hang in ther! If you do lose the house, you have your family, and you're going to have a new lease on life! That is far more important than a house! Dr. Cohn has a great reputation here, and the Brigham is a fine hospital. (It's where I was born.) Just focus on what your sweet daughter asked for for Christmas! I made frut cakes for gifts that Christmas, and I'd wager some of them may still be in basements or attics.:D Keep us posted. Brian

[susieq14]

Dear Rita,

So sorry that you have so much on your plate at this time. Of course you should be whining - don't apologize. Do please try to concentrate on getting yourself in a good frame of mind as you head towards your big day. I know it is easier said than done but you owe it to yourself and your family. I will keep you in my prayers that all goes well on Thursday and through recovery.

Take Care! and keep your chin up!

P.S. Great job on losing 10 pounds! that's definitley easier said than done!

[joanne6]

Great job losing 11 lbs before surgery. I gained all that you lost. You will lose weight after the surgery and they will all be telling you to eat.
I can't imagine anyone foreclosing on a house with a woman postop heart surgery. That would be a story for the local paper and I would be sure they got that story. Christmas time would not look good for scrooge to put you out of your home. Please don't worry about that right now.
Focus on your family and the holidays ahead. You will be done with the surgery and better than ever once you have healed. You must pamper yourself and make sure everyone else does the same for you.
TAKE CARE.
Joanne

[Superbob]

From the mouths of babes come truths: Your child is right. Nothing else matters right now except you getting this done and then recovering. Everything else will fall into place. Weight loss goals set by health professionals tend to be arbitrary. You have done a great job losing 11. Wish I could do as well (but I'm still working on it.)

And as far as "whining," don't worry. We all have to resort to a fine "whine list" once in a while. It's also called venting, and we all do it from time to time here. It's a healthy thing to do.

[Lynlw]

Joanne it is so sad I know a few heart parents who lost their houses when their kids were going thru their heart surgery, heck we almost did, some people just don't have hearts, Lyn

[RitaAnn]

and understanding. Your caring words made me cry -- which actually made me feel better -- and smile too. I know that "this too shall pass" but I surely wish that I could jump right to the sedation part ;) .

When I look at all the people going into surgery this week it helps to know that I'm not the only one going on this rollercoaster ride. Add our emotions to everyone else's for the Holidays and I'm sure we could light a spark in an old fireplace :p .
Rita

[maka]

RitaAnn

I don't post frequently...everyone here seems so knowledgeable that I get intimidated!!...However, I wanted to send you my prayers. You are going through so much right now that is understandable you feel stress out. It is remarkable you lost 11 pounds!!! Please concentrate in getting better and believe...one door may close but many others will be opened for you. Your health will be improving, you will be able to enjoy your family togethers even more, and things will start looking better for you once your operation is behind. Your children are right, the best Xmas gift they'll get is a healthier Mom!! Not to mention your jeans will be a size smaller now that you lost so many pounds :D
A big hug....

[KristiinSD]

as we get on the rollar coaster together. I can certainly imagine that you want to get away from all those financial worries and such, but as others have said your kid is so right - all they want for Christmas is a healthy mama.

So, let's fasten our seatbelts.

Kristi
mr
11/30/05 surgery

[geebee]

Whine away, you deserve this time. I wish you so very well with your surgery and hope you other issues work out as well. I am sure financial worries do not make this time easier.

You have my prayers and hugs.

[athul]

Hi RitaAnn,

God Bless Ya!! Hang in there.

Exactly 7 days from this posting, I will be on my way to the hospital for my "vacation".
One big "positive" of this ordeal has been my re-evaluation of just what is important in my world...friends, family & memories.
As a father of two young girls (9 & 11), over the Thanksgiving holiday, I've actually taken time (uncharacteristically) from work to take my kids & wife to their first football game (go Bengals!!!), we took the kids & their cousins to see Harry Potter (not particularly the best movie) as well as just spending time together at home. These are memories that will last forever.
When your ordeal is behind you, and it will be soon, you WILL have the BEST Christmas ever because you will have a new lease on life and a family who realize what really is important.
This is the time for you to rest and put off lifes "realities" for a short while. Depending on how far along you are, the foreclosure process can take a while and quite often, there are ways to resolve this since lenders rarely like to take back homes. ( I am a real estate appraiser and I see this quite often).
My prayers will be with you this week. First get through this week, then rest and enjoy the Christmas holiday and then deal with lifes "realities".
Good luck.

andy

scheduled AVR 12/5/05